Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people think that all
children
should stay at
school
until the
age
of
eighteen
.
Although
staying at
school
until adulthood can produce a
number
benefits
Change preposition
of benefits
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, I personally disagree with
this
idea
for a
number
of reasons, which will be outlined in
this
essay. On the one hand, the
idea
that
children
should continue to study at
school
until the
age
of
eighteen
does have a
number
of benefits.
Firstly
, most young people under the
age
of
eighteen
have very little real-world experience and have very little
idea
of what career they will pursue, and
therefore
staying at
school
until the
age
of
eighteen
will allow them
further
opportunity to develop their education and time to decide upon a suitable career path.
Furthermore
, forcing
children
to stay at
school
until the
age
of
eighteen
will create a more educated future generation of people which may help to reduce some social and unemployment problems.
On the other hand
, there are
also
a
number
of drawbacks that
this
idea
may bring with it.
For instance
, many
children
these days do not
Correct your spelling
fit in
show examples
fit-in
Correct your spelling
fit in
show examples
with the current education system and forcing them to participate in
school
can cause many problems.
For example
, these kinds of students are usually very disruptive in a classroom and
this
affects other students who are trying to learn.
In addition
to
this
, many
children
choose to follow careers that do not require them to continue studying in
school
past the
age
of sixteen.
For example
, for those who wish to pursue a career that requires more
practical based
Add a hyphen
practical-based
show examples
learning,
such
as a qualified builder, electrician or machinery operator, it is quite unnecessary to remain at
school
until the
age
of
eighteen
. In conclusion,
although
there would be a
number
of positive effects from
children
remaining at
school
until a later
age
, I personally feel that the drawbacks outweigh the benefits mentioned above.
Submitted by farrukh.maqsood on

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    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
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