IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7.5

Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? What do you think about work-life balance?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In
this
Linking Words
 day and age, the major section of society is spending long
hours
Use synonyms
 working or travelling for business purposes. I think
this
Linking Words
 type of working leads to
work-life
Use synonyms
 imbalance and
therefore
Linking Words
 it has certain disadvantages. In the following paragraphs, I will discuss the negative consequences of
this
Linking Words
 trend and the importance of
work-life
Use synonyms
 balance.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the main downside of travelling to distinct places for the job and working day in and day out is that after some time these people start facing many problems like anxiety, stress and even back problems.
Apart from
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
, they have very few
hours
Use synonyms
 to spend with their families.
For instance
Linking Words
, if a person is travelling far from his hometown for a job
then
Linking Words
 he will almost be away from his family for a week and even after ,returning he will be tired. In
this
Linking Words
 situation, he will lose connection with the family.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in
such
Linking Words
 cases, there would be a
work-life
Use synonyms
 imbalance that leads to serious negative consequences. I believe
work-life
Use synonyms
 balance is of utmost importance because when a person devotes equal
hours
Use synonyms
 to working activity and personal growth
then
Linking Words
 there is more productivity.
For example
Linking Words
, if an individual is working from Monday to Friday for a specific number of
hours
Use synonyms
 and
then
Linking Words
 taking a break on the weekends,
then
Linking Words
 his mind will be rejuvenated during that period of time and he can come up with more new ideas. And, at the same time, he will be attached to his family and will feel more productive.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I would like to say that in your life, spend
hours
Use synonyms
 not only working but trying to maintain a balance between work and personal life.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
Task Response: You have addressed the prompt and presented a clear viewpoint on the advantages and disadvantages of the trend of spending long hours at work. Your response is well-developed and effectively conveys your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Coherence and Cohesion: You have structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are supported with relevant examples, and your ideas are connected and presented in a cohesive manner. However, try to incorporate more varied and complex sentence structures and transition words to enhance the overall cohesion of your essay.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: