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Band 5.5

A recent study showed people in developed countries are not as happy as they were before development. What are the causes of this and what are some possible solutions?

#study #people #countries #development
In the contemporary world , studies reveal that the
people
 of the developed nations are not much-satisfied compared to the past when they were in the developing stage . Well, there are numerous reasons which create
this
 problem like expenses, cut-throat competition and inflation .
This
 essay will
further
 discuss the causes and later provide
a viable solutions
Correct the article-noun agreement
a viable solution
viable solutions
show examples
.
To begin
 with , the
people
 living in strong economies country they mainly pay huge taxes. In developed countries the infrastructure maintained by the government income and the authority collected from
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
different forms of taxes, each product an individual has surcharges ,
this
 will make frustrated and the burden will create
also
.
Moreover
 ,
people
 spend most of their time
to cope up
Change the verb form
coping
show examples
 with their daily requirements as well as expenses and that lead to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
no time for family and happiness . Statics have proven that in developed ,countries 7 out of 10
people
 are suffering from stress due to finances.
Although
this
 issue is challenging , the government can solve
this
 matter by providing better education and job opportunities. If ample vacancies are available , he will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to earn more money to support his family and needs .
For example
, many
people
 work in different highly paid jobs
such
 as a doctor , engineers and builders, these employers can live a better life with their families . In conclusion , developed countries have a strong economy and maintain the infrastructure which affects the
people
 living who pay taxes in different forms due to
this
people
 are suffering from stress and it
also
 affects family life as well .
In
Change preposition
As
show examples
such
 ,situation solution could be education and work opportunities , which will keep
them
Change the pronoun
their
show examples
joy .
Submitted by Harsh prajapati  on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • urbanization
  • technological advancements
  • social isolation
  • communication tools
  • work-related stress
  • material wealth
  • consumerism
  • economic status
  • meaningful experiences
  • relationships
  • environmental concerns
  • pollution
  • climate change
  • overpopulation
  • mental health
  • sedentary lifestyles
  • physical health
  • mental health problems
  • anxiety
  • helplessness
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