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Band 5

39. Societies that do not respect and honor their women can never make progress. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#societies #respect #honor #women #progress
Nowadays, human
right
 is important things that every
countries
Change to a singular noun
country
show examples
 should have in basic life. One of them is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
right
 that
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 in progress
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
development. Actually,
this
right
 should be
has
Wrong verb form
had
show examples
 in over the world, but some countries still unadmit it example in some
tradiotional
Correct your spelling
traditional
,
women
 should work at home or be
Add an article
a housewife
show examples
housewife
Fix the agreement mistake
housewives
show examples
instead
 of
take
Change the verb form
taking
show examples
 care of the family. In
this
 part should be
men
Change noun form
men's
show examples
 duty to do.
Correct your spelling
I'm
In
Im
Correct your spelling
In
 my inspective, I totally agree
for
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the topic
then
 for
this
 essay, I will elaborate
the
Change preposition
on the
show examples
 reason that I agree in the
next
 paragraph.  Previously,
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
 duty is
take
Change the verb form
to take
taking
show examples
 care of kids,
doing
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 housework and even
no
Add a missing verb
having no
show examples
 need to
studying
Wrong verb form
study
show examples
.
Despite
Correct pronoun usage
thisDespite
show examples
, studying is an
Correct your spelling
important
impotant
Correct your spelling
important
things
Change the noun form
thing
show examples
 for all gender. Everybody should get a good education
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
live
Add an article
a live
show examples
 life.
Moreover
, some traditional take care
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
Correct your spelling
daughter
daugther
Correct your spelling
daughter
 less than their son because their son will get a good job in the future but their
dauhther
Correct your spelling
daughter
 has just married
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another son's family. For
this
reason
Add a comma
,reason
show examples
 does not fair for her just because they are girls. Recently,
people
 try to push
Change preposition
for women
show examples
women
Change noun form
women's
show examples
right
 to
admittedly
Add a missing verb
be admittedly
show examples
 in the world.
Because of human
Change preposition
Human
show examples
right
 is the basic things that
Correct article usage
a national
show examples
national
Replace the word
nation
show examples
 should has since
their
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 born. It
is not depend
Change the verb form
does not depend
show examples
 on what is your gender, or it calls 'equality'.
Thus
, if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
 not have equality, it means you are an old
fasion
Correct your spelling
fashion
 and in society does not
development
Replace the word
develop
show examples
 at all. In conclusion, equality of gender
right
Fix the agreement mistake
rights
show examples
ahould
Correct your spelling
shoulder
should
 has
admit
Change the verb form
admitted
show examples
 in many
country
Change to a plural noun
countries
show examples
. Sex does not an
indecator
Correct your spelling
indicator
,
what
Change preposition
of what
show examples
 you can do or you cannot do.
people
 should respect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
show examples
people
Correct your spelling
because
becauce
Correct your spelling
because
 it is a basic manner that
people
 should have since we
born
Add a missing verb
are born
show examples
.
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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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