It is important fir people to take risks both in their professiol lives and personal lives Do write the advantages and outweigh the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowadays,
threat
Add an article
the threat

The noun phrase threat seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
is
a
Change the article
the

It appears that the phrase a first step does not contain the correct article usage. Consider making a change.

show examples
first
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

step toward
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals
individual

If you don’t want inviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

success .It is effective
among
Change preposition
for

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
young and mature
persons
Replace the word
people

The word persons doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
to take chance in their social
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well as in their personal
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
Moreover
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, some
stvata
Correct your spelling
strata
state

If you don’t want stvata to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

opposed that idea ۔While most of them agreed with
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

argument .
i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

show examples
will discuss both advantages and
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks

It seems that drawback may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

show examples
of
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

statement . To start with advantages , chances are very beneficiary for adults at
initial
Add an article
the initial
an initial

The noun phrase initial stage seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
stage .To illustrate , possibility in student
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

like when they pass matric
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they choose desired subjects for
further
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

study .
Secondly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, aim
in
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
support healthy
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

but they
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

contribute
many
Change preposition
to many

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
threats .
in addition
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

to that ,
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

without
aim
Add an article
an aim

The noun phrase aim seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
is like you
go
Wrong verb form
going

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb go. Consider changing it.

show examples
on
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
destination
Correct article usage
a destination

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
without
know
Wrong verb form
knowing

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb know. Consider changing it.

show examples
their
Correct pronoun usage
its

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
paths . Goals
are play
Change the verb form
play

It appears that the form of the verb play does not work with are in this sentence.

show examples
a sufficient role in social
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, because of hard work and
Correct your spelling
possibility

If you don’t want possibilty to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

possibilty
Correct article usage
the possibilty

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
they turn their dreams into reality
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma in a compound predicate. Consider removing it.

show examples
and became
succefull
Correct your spelling
successful

If you don’t want succefull to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

in
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.
For instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, steve jobs invest all of his money in
Correct your spelling
iPhone
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want iphone to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

iphone
Correct article usage
an iphone
show examples
project .
Then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, after day and night work he and his colleagues became victorious
to
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
intoduce
Correct your spelling
introduce

If you don’t want intoduce to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

iphone
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want iphone to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

devices for
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want inviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want inviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

.Nowadays ,
Correct your spelling
iPhone
Correct your spelling
iPhone

If you don’t want iphone to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

iphone
Correct article usage
the iphone
show examples
is big fish and they launched new smartphones after every year .
similarly
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

,
billgates
Correct your spelling
bill gates

If you don’t want billgates to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

put
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
life
Correct pronoun usage
their life
his life
her life

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
Change preposition
in endanger
show examples
Change preposition
in endanger

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
endanger
Wrong verb form
endangered
show examples
when he
leave
Change the verb form
leaves

The verb leave does not seem to agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
school and he
manufacture
Change the verb form
manufactures

It appears that the subject pronoun he and the verb manufacture are not in agreement. Consider changing the verb.

show examples
a
microsoft
Change the capitalization
Microsoft

If you don’t want microsoft to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

show examples
. To outweigh
drawbacks
Correct article usage
the drawbacks

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
,
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

may cause
finincial
Correct your spelling
financial

If you don’t want finincial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

loss , failures etc .Chances have many negative impacts
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
daily
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. At
start
Add an article
the start

The noun phrase start seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
,
goal
Add an article
the goal

The noun phrase goal seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

show examples
is a crucial for every probability .That,s why , when a goal is not set
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

nearly you cost your finance and
economic
Replace the word
economy

The word economic doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
. Many companies lead
towad
Correct your spelling
toward

If you don’t want towad to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

failure because they have immature
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
Correct your spelling
employees

The word employes doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

show examples
employes
Correct your spelling
employees
show examples
and
also
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

use their wealth
in
Change preposition
on

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
impossible projects . In personal
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

, when a student
eager
Add a missing verb
is eager

It seems that you are missing a verb. Consider adding it.

show examples
to run a
bussiness
Correct your spelling
business

If you don’t want bussiness to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

after leaving
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
school
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

they might fail in future because they no experienced about environment and calculation of a firm .
For Instance
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, teenagers invest all of
his
Correct pronoun usage
their

It seems that there is a pronoun problem here.

show examples
money in
a
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
Bitcoin in 2014 . they get profit
in
Change preposition
from

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

coin and they became
addict
Wrong verb form
addicted

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb addict. Consider changing it.

show examples
then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, suddenly Bitcoin crashed in 2015 that why they
lead
Wrong verb form
led

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb lead. Consider changing it.

show examples
toward
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
Correct your spelling
financial
Correct your spelling
financial

If you don’t want finacial to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

finacial
Correct your spelling
financial
loss and hazard
of
Change preposition
to

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

. According to
report
Correct article usage
a report

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

show examples
published by the "Express" about 10 %
adults
Change preposition
of adults

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

show examples
suicide because of their failure due to chances In conclusion , probability lead toward success by
inviduals
Correct your spelling
individuals

If you don’t want inviduals to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

hard work and desired goal .
Correct your spelling
Therefore

If you don’t want Therfore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

Therfore
Correct your spelling
Therefore

If you don’t want Therfore to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

, aim plays a good role when a teenager became prosperous .On contrary , experience is the only thing that matter in social
life
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

then
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

you
Correct your spelling
achieve
Correct your spelling
achieve

If you don’t want acheive to be marked as misspelled in the future, you can add it to your personal dictionary.

acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
economic loss and fail in future .

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: