In some countries, older people are encouraged to work longer and avoid retirement. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

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In the present circumstance, senior employees are expected to stay in their occupation longer compares to the past. From my perspective, I agree with

this

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phenomenon and the essay will discuss its benefits as well as the drawbacks On the one hand, it is reasonable why older people working for an extended period might create some disadvantages for both individuals and companies.

First

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and foremost, when middle-aged employees spend more time with their occupation, younger people might not be able to find a job opportunity as most positions in a company have been occupied by seniors.

Second

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, a rising problem that attracts public awareness in recent years is the old population. As individuals tend to work for longer, society will

then

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be filled with old residents.

Consequently

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, the development of economic and national defence would be hindered.

On the other hand

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, extended work

also

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provides communities and individuals with numerous advantages. For one thing, senior employees still require rewards and money to afford their living. If they are forced to retire sooner, their family would not have to ability to maintain financial burdens as well as make ends meet.

Furthermore

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, by withdrawing earlier, the communities will witness a shortage in some disciplines. To illustrate, the engineering field not only requires younger human sources but

also

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needs supervision from senior workers, who are well-acquainted with their tasks. In conclusion,

although

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older people are encouraged to work longer and avoid withdrawal might slow down the innovation progress, I still believe that the benefits outweigh the downsides. To recommend, I hope that in the future, the government can wider job opportunities for every individual.

Submitted by sadohpv4 on Fri Sep 23 2022

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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
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meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

271 words

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In some countries, older people are encouraged to work longer and avoid retirement. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages and give your opinion.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Write a letter to a city planning manager about demolition of a historical building in your area and say – Explain why it shouldn’t be demolished. – Suggest a future use for this building. – Recommend a way to raise money for repairs.

Some people think that a sense of competition in children should be encouraged. Others believe that children who are taught to co-operate rather than compete become more useful adults. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Around the world, rural people are moving to cities and urban areas, so populations in the countryside are decreasing. Do you think that this is a positive or negative development?