Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? What do you think about work-life balance?

#people #travel #work #hours #trend #work-life #balance

In the present circumstance, numerous individuals have a tendency to depart

further

from their job or work for a longer period of

time

. From my perspective, I strongly believe that the downsides of

this

phenomenon outweigh the benefits, as it threats the work-life balance.

This

essay will discuss the drawbacks of the workaholic as well as the significant meaning of work-life balance. On the one hand, working extensively or moving farther for assignments means people will consume more of their

time

for their occupation.

First

and foremost, by spending extended

time

at the office, employees would not have spare

time

for their mental and physical health. To illustrate, numerous students in Viet Nam are suffering from pressure and anxiety due to overworking and overstudying as they can't arrange their

time

schedule properly.

Second

, occupied

parents

would not be able to look after their children when they need to travel longer for work.

Consequently

, their kids will lack

Correct pronoun usage

their parents's

show examples

parents's

Remove the s

parents'

show examples

attention, which might lead to adolescent feelings.

On the other hand

, work-life balance plays a crucial role in human life as well as health. For one thing, a balanced schedule means employers will have the opportunity to relieve their stress and pressure.

As a result

, it boosts and improves workers' productivity.

Furthermore

, by having sufficient

time

funds, people can spend more

time

with their family and social activities.

For instance

parents

can take children to amusement parks or entertainment complexes in their leisure

time

Therefore

, the bond between

parents

and kids will be as strong as possible. In conclusion, I don't recommend individuals to spend more

time

on their occupation, as it might lead to an imbalanced life and in order to maintain mental as well as physical health, employees should arrange their schedule properly.

Submitted by sadohpv4 on Fri Sep 23 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

293 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? What do you think about work-life balance?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays people use bicycles less as a form of transport. Why is this the case? What can we do to encourage people to use bicycles more? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.

When choosing jobs, salary is the most important consideration.To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is more important to teach children the literature of their own country than other countries. Do you agree or disagree?

The beat way to understand other cultures is to work for a multinational organization. To what extent to you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any examples.