Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages ? What do you think about work life balance ?

Owing to the burgeoning unemployment
people
compulsion
Add a missing verb
are compulsion
show examples
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
work
to
Correct your spelling
too
show examples
far away from their houses. It is believed by some
people
in
present
Correct article usage
the present
show examples
era
Correct word choice
that employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
complete mile distance for
Correct pronoun usage
their job
show examples
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and
work
long hours.
This
essay is going to discuss the demerits of
long
Add an article
the long
show examples
hour
Fix the agreement mistake
hours
show examples
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
working in the subsequent fragments and
also
discussion
Replace the word
discuss
show examples
how to maintain
work
life
. Irrefutably, there are a plethora of cons of huge
time
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
for
work
and travel but the vital two are mental
stress
increase as well as personal
life
issues. To commence with the former view,
people
are spending a lot of
time
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
working area and travel for
work
.
This
is because, they can lose their temper which will increase mental
stress
such
as anxiety, frustration and physical weakness;
Consequently
,
Add an article
the employee
an employee
show examples
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
cannot concentrate on their
work
or project
works
Fix the agreement mistake
work
show examples
.
For example
, If
people
had not balanced their
stress
life
,
then
it would have
serious
Add an article
a serious
show examples
impact on our society. Another reason is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people
give importance to their job rather than
personal
Add an article
a personal
show examples
relationship
Fix the agreement mistake
relationships
show examples
. They not only overlook their family members but
also
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
lose support for
rest
Correct article usage
the rest
show examples
of
life
.
Therefore
, resulting they cannot focus on career
life
and missed family relationships.
However
,
this
problem can be easily mitigated by
work
and personal
life
equally balance like
spend
Wrong verb form
spending
show examples
time
with family and meditation
exercise
Fix the agreement mistake
exercises
show examples
.
Firstly
, working
employees
want to spend quality
time
with families member, relatives and friends.
This
is
reason
Add an article
the reason
a reason
show examples
, after
hectic
Add an article
a hectic
show examples
week when
employee
Fix the agreement mistake
employees
show examples
enjoy
Change the verb form
enjoys
show examples
weekend
Add an article
the weekend
a weekend
show examples
with
close
Add an article
a close
show examples
friend
Fix the agreement mistake
friends
show examples
,
then
they forget their issues and problem.
For instance
, in foreign countries
employee
work
only five days every week and they become
fresh
Correct article usage
a fresh
show examples
start after two holidays. Thereby, they become more focused and
productivity
Replace the word
productive
show examples
mindset.
Secondly
, many
people
like to brain exercise to
free
Add a missing verb
be free
show examples
from
Correct pronoun usage
themselves from
show examples
stress
. Due to
this
, they can create
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
mindset and
employees
have
Add the particle
tohave
show examples
give
hundred
Correct article usage
a hundred
show examples
percentage
Replace the word
percent
show examples
to their
work
area.
As a result
,
company
Add an article
the company
a company
show examples
can
financial
Change the adjective
financially
show examples
grow day by day and
employees
will promote. To recapitulate, nowadays
people
travel for long hours for office and long
time
working but if
employees
can stability in
work
and
life
then
they will more happy in their whole
life
.
Submitted by surjeet_17 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Get your IELTS Essential Vocabulary List —
What to do next:
Look at other essays: