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Band 4.5

Schools should stop using books for teaching children. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#schools #books #children
Education is the basis of all things.
However
, people are becoming advanced
due to
 new innovations.
Hence
, some people opine that schools and colleges should drop down books for teaching
students
. I agree with the given development and the reasons for my opinion are
further
 discussed in
this
 essay.
To begin
 with,
pupils
 can easily class a particular subject with suitable examples in the form of videos and photos. To elaborate, mobile phones and tablets provide a wide range of information and
instance
Fix the agreement mistake
instances
show examples
 about a certain subject, which is both useful to disabled and undisabled
pupils
 in the form of visuals and audio.
For example
, a study that was conducted by Oxford University in the UK concluded that
students
 who had certain disabilities had improved their scores in academics
due to
 the visualised technologies.
Moreover
, nowadays
pupils
 are proposed to research many types of subjects.
Therefore
, all the subject books make a burdening weight for children.
This
 results in heavy back pain for
students
.
Furthermore
, using modern technologies like e-books may help to reduce the student's burden.
In addition
, the tremendous use of paper can be reduced and the print energy can
also
 be saved.
Whereas
, the powerful storage of computer
help
Correct subject-verb agreement
helps
show examples
students
 to create unlimited write-ups. In conclusion, several advantages are there
while
 converting advanced technologies in the field of education.
Pupils
 can study more conveniently and with a wide range of information.
Submitted by donjoseph5353 on

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Task Response
The essay demonstrates a basic understanding of the topic but lacks depth and development of ideas. It is important to present a more balanced view, providing both advantages and disadvantages of the given proposition.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay lacks a clear logical structure and the introduction and conclusion are underdeveloped. Ensure that the essay follows a clear progression of ideas and includes a well-developed introduction and conclusion.
Lexical Resource
The lexical resource is adequate, but there is a need for more varied and precise vocabulary to enhance the quality of the essay. Use a range of vocabulary to express ideas effectively and accurately.
Grammatical Range
There are several grammatical errors present in the essay that affect the overall clarity and coherence of the writing. Pay close attention to sentence structure, verb tense, and subject-verb agreement.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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