Many people these days travel far for work or spend more hours working. Does this trend have more advantages or disadvantages? What do you think about work-life balance?

Nowadays the economic circumstances forced many people to travel far from their cities and towns for
work
. While some would argue that it has become a reality and we should deal with it, I do believe that the disadvantages of
this
issue outweigh the advantages,
thus
it causes failure to achieve
work
-life balance. On one hand,
Correct your spelling
employees
employers
employeers
Correct your spelling
employees
who spend more
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
from their homes to their
work
without getting any extra payment or
compension
Correct your spelling
compensation
for it.
As a
result
Add a comma
,result
show examples
they would not take care enough of their families or have a suitable rest to refresh their minds and restore their ability to
work
.
Hence
, it affects negatively on
work
in many aspects,
firstly
, when workers feel unsatisfied about their jobs, they would not be active and creative at
work
,
secondly
Add a comma
,secondly
show examples
the more
time
they spend in the routine
work
the less they product,
for
example
Add the comma(s)
,example
show examples
companis
Correct your spelling
companies
which count
worke
Correct your spelling
work
incentives by the outcomes would figure out that the long hours would not help as much as the short ones, because workers do the best to
acheive
Correct your spelling
achieve
the target
On the other hand
, governments should consider
this
problem and seek solution cause the defect on
work
-life balance is dangerous to individuals and the community,
for
instance
Add the comma(s)
,instance
show examples
one of the most dangerous
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disadvanages
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
can be shown clearly when parents spend less
time
raise
Wrong verb form
raising
show examples
and
teach
Wrong verb form
teaching
show examples
their children, the future generation would be in danger.
However
, schools have
role
Add an article
a role
show examples
to play but it is not the same
of
Change preposition
as
show examples
Correct article usage
the parents
show examples
parents
Change noun form
parents'
parent's
show examples
role.
Furthermore
, achieving the balance between life and
work
would serve them both, so governments should cover more
jobs
Fix the agreement mistake
job
show examples
Correct your spelling
opportunities
opportunites
Correct your spelling
opportunities
in all cities and towns to make their people
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have to travel to seek
work
. In conclusion,
although
, the economic theory
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
justifies spending more
time
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
work
or
Correct your spelling
travelling
travling
Correct your spelling
travelling
so far for
work
, I support the view says that the
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
disavanatges
Correct your spelling
disadvantages
outweigh the advantages.
Submitted by abdoo.magicoo on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: