Government should put taxes on unhealthy food so that people eat healthy foods more. Do you agree or disagree?

Imposing taxes on junk
food
is one of the solutions that the government has mandated in order to encourage
people
to consume more healthy
food
.
Although
many
people
might disagree with
this
phenomenon, I firmly believe that
this
is an effective
way
to promote a healthy lifestyle.
This
essay will discuss why I agree with the above statement.
Firstly
, putting taxes on sugary
food
is an effective
way
to control
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
consumers' eating habits. In the UK, it is noticeable that
this
law has been already implemented and
people
are thinking twice before picking up a regular
coke
Capitalize word
Coke
show examples
in the shops because of the additional tax on the price tag.
Consequently
, sugar is one of the culprits why more
people
nowadays suffer from different types of illnesses
such
as diabetes. The number of
people
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
are being diagnosed with pre-diabetes and diabetes is increasing each year, and even
people
at an early age now are diagnosed with
this
problem.
Moreover
, an additional amount on the price tag of unhealthy
food
will encourage
people
to prepare their own meals at home.
This
way
, it can be guaranteed that what
people
are consuming is clean and no preservatives are added to their meals.
This
also
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
people
the opportunity to be more economical. Preparing home-cooked meals is much cheaper rather than
earing
Correct your spelling
eating
show examples
out and paying additional
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
on certain
food
items. In conclusion, adding taxes on unhealthy
food
is an effective
way
for the government to promote a healthy lifestyle for
it's
Replace the word
its
show examples
constituents.
Submitted by joycegacho on

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task response
Ensure a clear thesis statement that directly addresses whether you agree or disagree.
task response
Introduce specific examples or data to solidify your arguments.
coherence cohesion
Work on varying your sentence structures to enhance readability and interest.
task response
Consider adding a counter-argument paragraph to balance your essay and show your ability to evaluate both sides of the argument before concluding.
coherence cohesion
Make sure each paragraph flows smoothly into the next with appropriate use of transition words and phrases.
coherence cohesion
Good use of introductory and conclusive sentences to frame your essay.
coherence cohesion
Effective argument structure, presenting clear reasons supporting your stance.
task response
Relevant examples are used, enhancing the persuasive element of your essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • deterrent
  • adoption
  • reinvested
  • subsidies
  • disproportionately
  • calorie-dense
  • non-communicable diseases
  • financial strain
  • guidelines
  • constitutes
  • confusion
  • bias
  • exemptions
  • mitigate
  • undue
  • financial hardship
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