IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Families who send their children to private schools should not be required to pay taxes that support the state education system. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#families #children #schools #taxes #support #education #system
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Some people believe that parents of
children
Use synonyms
 going to private schools should not pay
taxes
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 as they do not attend public schools. I disagree with
this
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 concept and will discuss
about
Remove the preposition
apply
show examples
it in
this
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 essay.
Taxes
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 paid by the
families
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 of the student usually supports the education system of the
state
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. If particularly, private
school going
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school-going
show examples
families
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 are exempted from
this
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 category
then
Linking Words
 some disadvantages may be evident.
Firstly
Linking Words
 , it will be quite difficult for the
government
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 to calculate the amount of tax to be collected from
families
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.
Secondly
Linking Words
, it might increase financial pressure upon the poor
families
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 who are not able to send their
childreb
Correct your spelling
children
 to private schools.
Thirdly
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 , welfare programs organised by the
government
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 for students are available for both public and private
school going
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school-going
show examples
children
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 ,
hence
Linking Words
abandoned
Wrong verb form
abandoning
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 any of the
group
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groups
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 would be
injustice
Add an article
an injustice
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. The
government
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 collects
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 for the development of its
state
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. In my opinion, we shall happily contribute a minor amount for the benefit of society and
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state
Correct article usage
the state
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. It is beneficial for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
all the individuals of the
state
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 to have a
well programmed
Add a hyphen
well-programmed
show examples
 educational system. The new generation should be provided with proper educational facilities to gear up the progress of the
state
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 . Paying
taxes
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 properly can help the
government
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 to provide education to those
children
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 who belong to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
families
Use synonyms
 living below the poverty rate. We must come forward to support
such
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families
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 for the overall progress of our
state
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. Overall , I believe
instead
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 of exempting
taxes
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over
Change preposition
on
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 the private
school going
Add a hyphen
school-going
show examples
 student's
family
Fix the agreement mistake
families
show examples
, the
government
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 should release the burden of paying
tax
Fix the agreement mistake
taxes
show examples
 from the
families
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 living in poverty and should take appropriate steps to educate the
children
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 of those
families
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.
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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • tax exemption
  • public education
  • private schools
  • collective responsibility
  • societal welfare
  • equitable access
  • financial burden
  • social cohesion
  • tax credits
  • vouchers
  • subsidies
  • state-funded
  • socioeconomic disparities
  • public vs. private sector
  • quality of education
What to do next:
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