IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #community #work #time #benefit
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Some have voiced support that juveniles should contribute to the
community
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 by taking part in unpaid
work
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 in their leisure
time
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 as it is greatly beneficial for both themselves and society. In my opinion,
this
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 is a matter of debate in light of different factors before any conclusion can be drawn. There are various compelling reasons why
teenagers
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 should spend their leisure
time
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 doing unpaid
work
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 for the
community
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.
To begin
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 with,
this
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 is a great opportunity for them to gain some practical working experience. Through these kinds of activities, they may face certain challenges which would help sharpen their soft skills and widen their horizons as well as having a multi-dimensional view when evaluating and tackling the problems.
For example
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, in some developed countries
such
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 as America or Australia,
teenagers
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 will take part in some church activities including cleaning, decorating for special occasions and giving a hand in some team works. That would help them enhance their problem-solving skills and the ability to
work
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 with each other as a team. Another noteworthy benefit that should be taken into consideration is that when contributing to society, those juveniles will learn how to love and share with people around them leading to a healthy mind and a friendly society.
On the other hand
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,
teenagers
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 should enjoy their free
time
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 in the ways they want. As for most of the parts they are fully occupied with their hectic schedules at school, so it is unfair to ask them to
work
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 without pay. They have the right to hang out with their friends or play sports to blow off some steam and achieve great physical and mental development. Provided that fact that they join in the
community
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work
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 without payment, they will get exhausted and that might affect their daily routine, and in the worst-case scenario, that would have a negative influence on their academic performance.
For instance
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, in some cultures,
teenagers
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 have to spend their holidays working for the pagodas or temples from 4.30 in the morning until 7.30 in the evening and they have to go to bed at 8 o’clock.
Although
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this
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 is a truly meaningful activity, it severely impacts their biological
time
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 and makes them feel extremely tired after the holidays. In conclusion, while some have voiced support that juveniles should take part in
community
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work
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 without payment in their leisure
time
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, I would argue that it is better to let them enjoy the
time
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 in the ways they want.
Submitted by wbvovo on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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