Many school children today take part in work experience sessions for short periods of time instead of attending school is this a positive or a negative development

Nowadays it is becoming a trend to study and
work
together. Many educational institutions are a job within
studies
.
Further
, most school students are
taking involvement
Wrong verb form
involved
show examples
in sessions on
work
-related guidelines regardless of their main purpose of attending the school. In
this
essay, both pros and cons will be discussed in the following subsequent paragraphs with relevant examples.
To begin
with, in
this
era of
competition
Add a comma
competition,
show examples
everyone is very ambitious about his or her career.
This
point leads to doing
work
and studying at the same
time
.
Furthermore
,
taking
Verb problem
gaining
show examples
experience during
studies
helps a lot
to find
Change preposition
in finding
show examples
the best occupation.
For instance
, many students of computer sciences have started internships in software houses
while
their coursework is not completed yet.
In addition
,
this
experience plays an important role when they go to a company for an interview.
On the other hand
, there are many problems that some children are faced by doing
work
and
studies
side by side.
Furthermore
, it is not an easy task to manage both
work
and
studies
at the same
time
.
For example
, many students gained
low-grade
Correct your spelling
low grade
show examples
points average
duty
Correct your spelling
due
show examples
to spending more
time
in companies.
Therefore
, they
fell
Wrong verb form
fall
show examples
into depression, which affects their health
as well as
their learning process. In a nutshell, there is no doubt to take
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
show examples
in the implementation of learning in professional life at the
time
of university, but it has many advantages
along with
disadvantages. So, a person should complete their
studies
and
then
focus on finding a workplace.
Submitted by maryamakram976 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Ensure each paragraph is well-developed and follows a clear structure with proper topic sentences and supporting details.
coherence cohesion
Add a stronger introduction with a clear thesis statement and a conclusion that summarizes the main points.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and elaborate on each point to demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: