Some children spend hours every day on their smartphones.Why is this the case? Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

Children
nowadays become increasingly obsessed with
smartphones
and virtually hold them in their hands every day.
This
tendency resulted from several causes ranging from the whole society to individual households. In my perspective, the advantages of
this
development
outweigh its disadvantages. There are two reasons contributing to
this
tendency. One of them is the rapid
development
of science and technology. Everyone, including
children
from poor families, is able to have access to advanced technology
such
as
smartphones
and the internet at low prices due to the increase in productivity these days. Another reason for
this
development
is that parents tend to be busier occupying work and have no time to contact their
children
.
Therefore
,
children
are being given
smartphones
to spend their leisure time or keep in touch with their friends, which leads to long hours a day for
children
on their screens. From my perspective, I think it is a positive
development
overall. On the one hand,
children
who rely too greatly on
smartphones
would be distracted, so
that
Correct word choice
apply
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they may not be able to focus on their studies or homework in school. Aso, it is bad for
children
's eyes as the overuse of screens and fewer outdoor activities may lead to obesity and risk of heart disease.
However
, there are some advantages for
children
to
use
Wrong verb form
using
show examples
smartphones
as a tool to expand their horizons and keep up with the changing world. The Internet provides unlimited sources of information and knowledge for youngsters which they may not be able to get from traditional schools.
For example
, students who scroll social media and news apps frequently may better understand what is going on in the world than those who only take textbooks as a resource of knowledge.
Also
,
smartphones
allow young people to keep up with their friends and society.
Otherwise
, they would find it difficult to fit in
their
Change preposition
with their
show examples
peers and not be socially accepted. Even though it is true that
smartphones
have disadvantages, I believe it would be wrong to forbid
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
because it is
children
's way of living in
this
rapidly changing world. I reckon problems can be solved by additional time restrictions from parents and schools and a good role model
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
using
smartphones
properly by parents would definitely help.
Submitted by irengezc on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • smartphones
  • usage
  • technology
  • accessibility
  • convenience
  • entertainment
  • gaming
  • social media
  • communication
  • educational resources
  • addiction
  • dependence
  • negative effects
  • physical health
  • mental health
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