IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

More and more people are migrating to cities in search of a better life, but city life can be extremely difficult. Explain some of the difficulties of living in a city. How can governments make urban

Many people move to big
cities
Use synonyms
 to pursue their degrees or seek job opportunities.
However
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, living in capital
cities
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 can present several challenges, particularly in terms of living costs and lifestyle.
This
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 essay will explore some of the issues associated with
life
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 in a large
city
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 and propose solutions that
governments
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 can implement.
While
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 new places often offer opportunities and promise an improved quality of
life
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, they can
also
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 present difficulties
due to
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 high living costs and cultural differences.
Although
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 the cost of living varies among
cities
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, it is widely accepted that residing in a capital
city
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 is significantly more expensive than living in a rural village.
For instance
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, goods at a local market are typically priced lower than those in a mall in a big
city
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.
Additionally
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, the prevalence of dangerous
neighborhoods
Change the spelling
neighbourhoods
show examples
 adds to the complexities of urban
life
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. As people's living expenses rise, so too does the pressure they experience, which can lead to
behaviors
Change the spelling
behaviours
show examples
 perceived as arrogance or selfishness. It is not uncommon to observe individuals who seem indifferent to one another when walking through a
city
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, often unwilling to assist others
due to
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 a heightened sense of caution stemming from increased crime rates.
This
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 shift can be jarring for someone accustomed to a more communal spirit in their hometown. One potential solution to these challenges is for
governments
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 to enhance public amenities for long-term immigrants.
For example
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, authorities could reduce transportation fares and food prices for students relocating to the
cities
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.
Additionally
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,
governments
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 should consider developing parks, planting trees, and improving waste management to create a more conducive environment for residents to relieve stress and socialize with friends. To bolster safety, it would be prudent for
governments
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 to establish more security posts in high-crime areas and install CCTV cameras and streetlights in poorly lit locations, thereby deterring criminal activity.
While
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 big
cities
Use synonyms
 provide numerous opportunities for career advancement and a better quality of
life
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, it is essential to consider the challenges and issues that may arise in the future.
Furthermore
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,
governments
Use synonyms
 have a responsibility to care for their citizens and strive to enhance their living standards.

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coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that it logically connects to the overall topic.
task achievement
Expand on some points with more details or examples to strengthen your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Consider linking sentences better within paragraphs to improve flow and clarity.
positive
The introduction clearly outlines the topic and the intention of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Urbanization
  • Metropolis
  • Rapid urban growth
  • Megacity
  • Urban sprawl
  • Housing affordability
  • Infrastructure development
  • Public transportation
  • Traffic congestion
  • Pollution
  • Noise pollution
  • Green spaces
  • Job market
  • Social cohesion
  • Community engagement
  • Safety measures
  • Crime prevention
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