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Band 6.5

Some people think parents shouldn’t encourage to do a part job to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #parents #shouldn’t #part #job
Getting rewards or admiring
children
 in some
cases
 that they do not complete their tasks or targets, brought up a discussion.
Although
 , part of people assume that it seems an impractical way to encourage
children
 for conducting half of the task. I subscribe to the notion that
this
 method can damage
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them , but it has been observed in some rare
cases
this
 method can be a practical one. I shall put forward my arguments in the upbringing paragraphs.
First
 and foremost, the main reason that has been proved by scientists is the time when the brain got a reward and received some encouragement, the brain may lose its enthusiasm to make a plan and persist to remove obstacles.
Secondly
 ,
this
 reason encompasses harmful effects on
children
 ’s habits, to explain, when they are admired in the wrong status, they may throw away their target and after repeating
this
 algorithm, a new habit is formed in their routines and leads to them keep far away from their achievements.
For example
 , immatures in primary schools are vulnerable age and if the education system encourages them for
short- term
Correct your spelling
short-term
show examples
 issues they learn
this
 habit and they will put it into their life.
On the other hand
 , in some
cases
 that are considered rare circumstantial like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
hard and overwhelming situations
children
 need to move step by step in a sensitive direction. In
such
 a scenario , they need spiritual
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
 to provoke them for continuing their ways. To illustrate, when students have problems in math and physics, encouraging them creates a window of opportunity for enhancement. To conclude, there is a controversial issue that encourages
children
 part of tasks that are refused by some people. As mentioned, I assume that not only does
conducting
Change the verb form
conduct
show examples
this
 method
culminates
Correct subject-verb agreement
culminate
show examples
 in losing their enthusiasm, but
also
 new harmful habits will be made. As a sideline , there are some merits for some
cases
can
Correct pronoun usage
that can
show examples
 be feasible.
Submitted by marzieh.kava on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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