Many governments have laws that ban the sale and use of hard drugs like heroin and cocaine, yet they allow people to freely buy other more socially acceptable drugs like tobacco and alcohol. Laws that prohibit the sale and consumption of ‘hard’ drugs should be applied to other more widely tolerated drugs such as tobacco and alcohol. What is your opinion?

There is no doubt that these days about danger of hard
drugs
like
heroin
,
cocaine
, tobacco, and alcohol. There are a lot of administrations around the world
have
Correct pronoun usage
that have
show examples
rules which ban the sale and utilize some of these
drugs
such
as
heroin
and
cocaine
, but at the same time, they allow individuals to get some of these
drugs
like tobacco and alcohol.
This
leads to be misunderstanding of the difference between these
drugs
. In my opinion, all
drugs
have negative aspects, but these aspects are different in the degree of danger and people's ability to treat them in the future, I believe that
this
matter is suitable and fair. first of all, hard
drugs
such
as
heroin
and
cocaine
have a large effect on people's brains. These
drugs
have dangerous effects and they lead to permanent mental problems. These problems are difficult to treat because they change some shapes of receptors in the
brains
Fix the agreement mistake
brain
show examples
. There are many people who have mental problems that affect the whole community, so a large number of governments have laws which ban these
drugs
.
Secondly
, alcohol and tobacco are dangerous, but they probably do not have a large effect on the brain. These
drugs
have a mass effect on the liver and lungs,
thus
the treatment is simpler than
heroin
and
cocaine
.
This
led to many administrations around the world
do
Verb problem
apply
show examples
not
have
Wrong verb form
having
show examples
rules which ban sales and utilize these
drugs
because they have a small influence on brains. In conclusion, there are different views about rules for the use and sale of hard
drugs
. I consider that the differences in the laws are neutral because there are variations in chemical structure for these
drugs
,
thus
different laws.
Submitted by a2100b2100 on

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your points. For instance, you could mention specific studies or statistics related to the effects of tobacco and alcohol compared to hard drugs.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear central idea and that there are smooth transitions between paragraphs. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
task achievement
Try to avoid some repetition in your argument and provide more nuanced explanations for why the laws treat these substances differently. This will help enhance the comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence cohesion
Your introduction effectively presents the issue at hand and clearly states your position, which provides a strong starting point for your essay.
coherence cohesion
The essay is well-organized with clear paragraphs dedicated to different points, and the conclusion effectively summarizes your main argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Substance abuse
  • Opioids
  • Carcinogens
  • Liver cirrhosis
  • Dependency
  • Prohibition
  • Excise tax
  • Cultural mores
  • Public health initiatives
  • Civil liberties
  • Black market
  • Bootlegging
  • Harm reduction
  • Social stigma
  • Decriminalization
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