Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

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There is no denying

fact

Correct article usage

the fact

show examples

that every coin has two sides and so are the people. The population of society is divided into two groups and

therefore

Linking Words

, in recent times, children

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

fewer responsibilities than in earlier times. It is

also

Linking Words

has become a topic of debate among the public. Some are in view that it is a positive modification whilst others consider it a negative change.

This

Linking Words

essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions

along with

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my opinion which will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,

firstly

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, kids who

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

only a few responsibilities towards their home can concentrate better on their academic goals.

Consequently

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this

Linking Words

will help them in fulfilling their professional aims as well. To cite an instance, it is evident that, those who are not performing household chores are able to secure the highest marks in school.

Secondly

Linking Words

, It will give more time to the youth to pay attention to other interests too

such

Linking Words

as, games and music.

Asa

Correct your spelling

As a

show examples

result, teenagers get adequate hours to follow their passion. On

its

Change the word

the

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contrasting side, people who

held

Wrong verb form

hold

show examples

another viewpoint say that no onus to them will make them dependent on their parents.

In other words

Linking Words

, if their duties are not set in advance

then

Linking Words

they will not be able to make the corrective decision by themselves. To exemplify it, In the pristine world, every person is capable of doing their own work,

however

Linking Words

, nowadays each one is dependent on some instrument like machines to complete their work.

Additionally

Linking Words

, it encourages their participation in tasks which are harmful to society like gambling and illegal activities.

To conclude

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, I would like to reiterate that there are both benefits and harmful effects of it,

however

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, if I consider it logically

then

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in my opinion, neither its positives can be neglected nor its negatives. It is a mixed bag of opportunities and ill effects.

Also

Linking Words

, it will depend upon the mindsets of the individuals

that

Correct word choice

and

show examples

which view they are in favour of.

kuljeetkaur19941Mon Sep 26 2022

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Task Response

Improve the articulation of arguments to provide a more complete response to the prompt. Ensure that examples are directly relevant to the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Create a more logical structure in the essay by connecting ideas within and between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to improve cohesion and coherence.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

responsibilities
life skills
time management
teamwork
problem-solving
accountability
work ethic
independence
consequences
creative development
social interactions
burnout
excessive
balance

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