Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

#people #children #ages #responsibilities #school #life

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There is no denying

fact

Correct article usage

the fact

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that every coin has two sides and so are the people. The population of society is divided into two groups and

therefore

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, in recent times, children

are having

Wrong verb form

have

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fewer responsibilities than in earlier times. It is

also

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has become a topic of debate among the public. Some are in view that it is a positive modification whilst others consider it a negative change.

This

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essay will compare and contrast both of the opinions

along with

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my opinion which will be discussed in a sensible conclusion. Initiating with the points supporting the first school of thought,

firstly

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, kids who

are having

Wrong verb form

have

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only a few responsibilities towards their home can concentrate better on their academic goals.

Consequently

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this

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will help them in fulfilling their professional aims as well. To cite an instance, it is evident that, those who are not performing household chores are able to secure the highest marks in school.

Secondly

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, It will give more time to the youth to pay attention to other interests too

such

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as, games and music.

Asa

Correct your spelling

As a

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result, teenagers get adequate hours to follow their passion. On

its

Change the word

the

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contrasting side, people who

held

Wrong verb form

hold

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another viewpoint say that no onus to them will make them dependent on their parents.

In other words

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, if their duties are not set in advance

then

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they will not be able to make the corrective decision by themselves. To exemplify it, In the pristine world, every person is capable of doing their own work,

however

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, nowadays each one is dependent on some instrument like machines to complete their work.

Additionally

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, it encourages their participation in tasks which are harmful to society like gambling and illegal activities.

To conclude

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, I would like to reiterate that there are both benefits and harmful effects of it,

however

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, if I consider it logically

then

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in my opinion, neither its positives can be neglected nor its negatives. It is a mixed bag of opportunities and ill effects.

Also

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, it will depend upon the mindsets of the individuals

that

Correct word choice

and

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which view they are in favour of.

Submitted by kuljeetkaur19941 on Mon Sep 26 2022

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Task Response

Improve the articulation of arguments to provide a more complete response to the prompt. Ensure that examples are directly relevant to the main points.

Coherence and Cohesion

Create a more logical structure in the essay by connecting ideas within and between paragraphs. Use transition words and phrases to improve cohesion and coherence.

13
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

344 words

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Some people believe that children of all ages should have extra responsibilities. Other believe that, outside of school, children should be free to enjoy life. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Some parents want their children to read only serious educational books at all times. They don’t want their children to read any entertainment books because they think it is wast of time. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be compulsory part of high school programs. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Some people say History is one of the most important school subjects. Other people think that, in today's world, subjects like Science and Technology are more important than History. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Nowadays many people choose to be self- employed rather than to work for a company or organization. Why it might be the case? What could be the disadvantages if being self-employed?