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Band 6

You live in a room in college which you share with another student. However, there are many problems with this arrangement and you find it very difficult to work. Write a letter to the accommodation officer at the college. In the letter, • explain your problems and why it is difficult to work

#room #college #student #arrangement #work #accommodation #officer
Dear Sir, I am a student
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
first
Correct pronoun usage
my first
show examples
 year studying Mechanical Engineering
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 your college. I am writing
this
 letter to express my dissatisfaction about to
room
, I am living in with a fellow student.
This
room
 was
alloted
Correct your spelling
allotted
allocated
allowed
 to me
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the course.
First
Correct article usage
The first
show examples
 few days were fine but after that problems started to arise.
Firstly
,
this
room
 has no internet access, which is an essential resource in my studies.
Secondly
, my
room
 partner is non-cooperative and he makes
room
Correct article usage
the room
show examples
 uninhabitable
to live
Verb problem
apply
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.
Lastly
,
bathroom
Add an article
the bathroom
show examples
 has no supply of hot water and as you know winters are going on so is it even difficult to use
basic
Correct article usage
the basic
show examples
 facilities of washing with cold water.
Nonetheless
, I have tried to explain my situation to you because of these things I am unable to concentrate on
the
Change the word
my
show examples
 studies.
Therefore
, I request you to kindly shift me to a new
room
. I look forward to hearing a positive response from your side. Yours faithfully, Jatinder.
Submitted by mrsdns on

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task achievement
Be sure to avoid minor grammatical and punctuation errors for a higher score. For instance, 'alloted' should be 'allotted' and 'begining' should be 'beginning'.
coherence cohesion
Include a brief mention of how these problems affect your studies right after introducing them for a smoother transition.
task achievement
Provide specific examples of how the noise or behavior of your roommate affects your ability to study to add more depth to your complaint.
logical structure
The letter has a clear and logical structure, making it easy to follow your points.
suitable writing tone
The tone of the letter is formal and appropriate for the audience.
greeting and closing
You've ended the letter with a polite closing, which maintains the formality.
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