IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people argue that if children behave badly they parent should accept responsibility for the behaviour of children. Do you agree or disagree.

#people #children #parent #responsibility #behaviour
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It has become common that
kids
Use synonyms
behave
Fix the infinitive
to behave
show examples
 obedient,
disciplined
Correct word choice
and disciplined
show examples
 and vice versa in some situations. The responsibility
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
Use synonyms
children
Change noun form
children's
show examples
 behaviour is
the
Change preposition
in the
show examples
 hands of
parents
Use synonyms
 and some people debate that the younger ones are responsible for their own actions.
This
Linking Words
 essay will demonstrate my personal opinion that
parents
Use synonyms
 are
in-charge
Correct your spelling
in charge
show examples
 of their
children
Use synonyms
’s behaviour. To commence with, there are several arguments in favour of my stance.
First
Linking Words
 and foremost,
kids
Use synonyms
 spent most of
time
Correct pronoun usage
their time
show examples
 with their
parents
Use synonyms
 and they do observe
lot
Change the article
a lot
show examples
 of things.
However
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, knowingly or unknowingly they follow their mother and
father
Change noun form
father's
show examples
 words or actions to make it
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
a habit.
For example
Linking Words
, if
parents
Use synonyms
 abuse,
argue
Correct word choice
or argue
show examples
 in front of their
kids
Use synonyms
 they will think abusing is
right
Add an article
the right
show examples
 thing and do the same. Overall,
kids
Use synonyms
 follow their
parents
Use synonyms
 and admire them.
On the other hand
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,
Add an article
the parent
a parent
show examples
parent
Fix the agreement mistake
parents
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 should be role
model
Fix the agreement mistake
models
show examples
 for their own
children
Use synonyms
, teaching them good manners,
how
Correct word choice
and how
show examples
 to groom when they are in public.
Furthermore
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, the
parents
Use synonyms
 should
also
Linking Words
 be punishable along with the
children
Use synonyms
.
For instance
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, in Finland they have a law if
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
children
Use synonyms
breaks
Change the verb form
break
show examples
 the traffic rule, the government will impose
fine
Correct article usage
a fine
show examples
 and punishment for both
parents
Use synonyms
 and
children
Use synonyms
,
as a result
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 law
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
road safety has been increased and accidents have been reduced. To summarise, all the points mentioned above point out that
parents
Use synonyms
 should
held
Change the verb form
hold
show examples
Add an article
the responsibility
show examples
responsibility
Replace the word
responsible
show examples
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 their younger generation, we should
also
Linking Words
 have
child
Correct article usage
a child
show examples
 parent law of Finland globally for a better and positive environment in the society.
Submitted by 09_hones_copy on

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • upbringing
  • environment
  • instilling
  • moral values
  • discipline
  • influence
  • negate
  • individuality
  • act out
  • external factors
  • peer influence
  • broader societal issues
  • solely
  • community
  • social institutions
  • overly accountable
  • stress
  • unfair blame
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