Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activities among young people. Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem.

#countries #activities #people #phenomenon

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Children

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are the fragile group who are targeted by criminals because they are innocent.

Crime

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in many countries was found that

children

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were targeted and

this

Linking Words

is the problem which we need to find a solution

before

Change preposition

to before

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the situation becomes a crisis. It will be discussed in

this

Linking Words

essay.

To begin

Linking Words

, it is undeniable that the spread of an addict around the world is gradually increasing and teenager easily finds them on every corner of the street.

This

Linking Words

spread is directly related to the increase of crimes among

children

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because they are addicted to drugs and their demand for consumption was more increasing. The addicts lead to the crimes

such

Linking Words

as burglary and fraud because they need the money to buy more drugs. To tackle these problems, the government should write a law to control the addictive drug and increase the punishment of death for people who is a drug

dealers

Change the noun form

dealer

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. The people who witnessed the drug usage activities should be rewarded and protected by the policemen.

This

Linking Words

would decrease the

crime

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rate in the countries.

Moreover

Linking Words

, it should not be only the responsibility of the government, but the family is the key factor to protect their own child from unexpected danger.

The parent

Correct article usage

Parent

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should encourage their

children

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to do activities

such

Linking Words

as running, swimming or dancing and these will enable them to avoid the problem of

crime

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. In conclusion,

crime

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is a thing that will happen to everyone around the world. Even

Correct word choice

though it

show examples

is difficult to absolutely avoid them but we can prepare for our

children

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Submitted by kongpetch.singhato on Mon Sep 26 2022

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

257 words

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Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activities among young people. Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Space travel has been possible for some time. Some people think space tourism could be developed in the future which can help to develop countries' economies. To what extent do you think this is a positive or negative development ?

Many governments think that economic progress is their most important goal. Some people, however, think that other types of progress are equally important for a country. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?

What are the pros and cons of using public transport ?