Many countries are currently witnessing an increase in criminal activities among young people. Discuss reasons for this phenomenon and suggest ways to deal with the problem.

Children
are the fragile group who are targeted by criminals because they are innocent.
Crime
in many countries was found that
children
were targeted and
this
is the problem which we need to find a solution
before
Change preposition
to before
show examples
the situation becomes a crisis. It will be discussed in
this
essay.
To begin
, it is undeniable that the spread of an addict around the world is gradually increasing and teenager easily finds them on every corner of the street.
This
spread is directly related to the increase of crimes among
children
because they are addicted to drugs and their demand for consumption was more increasing. The addicts lead to the crimes
such
as burglary and fraud because they need the money to buy more drugs. To tackle these problems, the government should write a law to control the addictive drug and increase the punishment of death for people who is a drug
dealers
Change the noun form
dealer
show examples
. The people who witnessed the drug usage activities should be rewarded and protected by the policemen.
This
would decrease the
crime
rate in the countries.
Moreover
, it should not be only the responsibility of the government, but the family is the key factor to protect their own child from unexpected danger.
The parent
Correct article usage
Parent
show examples
should encourage their
children
to do activities
such
as running, swimming or dancing and these will enable them to avoid the problem of
crime
. In conclusion,
crime
is a thing that will happen to everyone around the world. Even
it
Correct word choice
though it
show examples
is difficult to absolutely avoid them but we can prepare for our
children
.
Submitted by kongpetch.singhato on

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Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

  • firstly
  • secondly
  • thirdly
  • in additional
  • moreover
  • also
  • for example
  • for instance
  • therefore
  • however
  • although
  • even though
  • despite

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