Many people think that every individual is responsible for their own healthy lifestyle. Other believe that governments should take care of it. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

The bar charts show the
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
of individual
transport
every year in six European countries, and
providing
Wrong verb form
provide
show examples
information about the amount of
time
with commutation each
day
.

Overall, the average
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
traveling
Change the spelling
travelling
show examples
distance for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
European by
car
car
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
is greater than those by bus, train, metro and bike.
In addition
, the commuting
time
in those nations is under one hour every
day
.

The
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
distance for people who travel in Denmark by using any
transport
took the lead, which was around 12500
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
by
car
, and 3000
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
by public
transport
or bike.
In contrast
, France saw the greatest difference in the annual
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
travel
distance
Fix the agreement mistake
distances
show examples
, at 12000
kilometers
Change the spelling
kilometres
show examples
by
car
which took the
second
largest
number
of
car
usage and only one-tenth of
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
by other transportation, which
was came
Change the verb form
came
show examples
in
last
Change the article
the last
show examples
comparison to other countries. It is worth noting that Italian taking
transport
only took the least
time
each
day
, with just over 20
minutes
. British spent the most
time
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commuting, at about 48
minutes
per
day
;
however
, it was only under 11000 km and approximately 1000 by
car
or other
transport
respectively.
In addition
, the
number
of people in Germany and Spain who use cars are very similar, which were about 90000 and 88000 km, while German took the
second
largest
time
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
commuting, at 45
minutes
, which was over 15
minutes
than the average in Europe.
Submitted by a0111590317 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • preventative care
  • lifestyle diseases
  • public health policies
  • healthcare accessibility
  • sedentary lifestyle
  • nutritional information
  • government intervention
  • health education programs
  • public health campaigns
  • personal accountability
What to do next:
Look at other essays: