Some schools have restricted the use of mobile phones.is this a positive devlopments or a negative one?

Many
Correct your spelling
children
children's
childrens
Correct your spelling
children
show examples
now have their own mobile
phones
. while these devices
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
some good values like we can learn from
this
Correct determiner usage
these
show examples
devices and connect with others, many schools
now
Add a missing verb
are now
show examples
restricted to use
mobile
Change preposition
of mobile
show examples
phones
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
campus. In my
view
Add a comma
,view
show examples
this
is
positive
Add an article
a positive
show examples
step and it will bring good benefits to
children
with learning and
also
physically and socially too.
To begin
with, restricting
phone
use in
Correct article usage
the class
show examples
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
class room
Correct your spelling
classroom
show examples
itself can improve learning. To elaborate
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
, without
phones
children
can easily focus on their
study
Fix the agreement mistake
studies
show examples
without
disturbing
Wrong verb form
disturbed
show examples
notification
Fix the agreement mistake
notifications
show examples
from
phones
.
For example
,
children
who
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
phone
Add an article
a phone
show examples
with them and there are
massages
Correct your spelling
messages
show examples
coming from
phone
Correct pronoun usage
their phone
show examples
, student
give
Change the verb form
gives
show examples
their time
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
replying or other things. That leads to students
give
Wrong verb form
giving
show examples
their small time
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
study
and teachers and that will lead to lower marks in
Add an article
the exam
show examples
exam
Fix the agreement mistake
exams
show examples
.
Hence
, it is good
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
to ban
phones
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
school
campus
Fix the agreement mistake
campuses
show examples
so they can
study
without distraction.
Moreover
, restricting
phones
also
help
children
in their free classes and help them with their
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
. Without any destruction from
Add an article
the phone
a phone
show examples
phone
Add a comma
,phone
show examples
they can play with other students and that help with their health and
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
connect with other students.
Is
Correct your spelling
If
show examples
children
play free without any distraction
of
Change preposition
from
show examples
checking
phones
and urge check social media, they can play freely and their health will improve and they can socially connect with others. That
help
Change the verb form
helps
show examples
them with
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
healthy body and friends. That's why banning the
phone
is good for
children
to improve
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
their health
condition
Fix the agreement mistake
conditions
show examples
and social anxiety. To sum up, mobile
phone
from school is good for their education and
also
physically and socially. It is good for
children
to
study
without any
distraction
Fix the agreement mistake
distractions
show examples
from mobile
phones
so they can give their best and concentrate
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
their studies.
Submitted by hardikdesai117 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: