Countries spends large amount of money on sports competitions. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages.

#countries #amount #money #sports #competitions #outweight

Spending money on

sports

competitions

countries

increased

Change preposition

apply

show examples

these days. In my

opinion

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,opinion

show examples

it has positive and negative sides

however

the

advantages

have a strong influence on the drawbacks.

To begin

with

advantages

sports

competition spread in the world

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

people

sports

culture improve by the event.

Also

Add a comma

,Also

show examples

people

who do sport can be shown to increase. Due to

this

rise, the person who is

Change the word

apply

show examples

healthier than now

able

Add a missing verb

is able

show examples

to reveal in a few years. Harmful substance use may be decreased by an addicted person.

Instead

of bad habits, they prefer to do

sports

or watch

sports

competitions

. In

addıtıon

Correct your spelling

addition

organizing

Change the noun form

sports

show examples

sport

Add a comma

,sport

show examples

competitions

contribute importantly to the country's economy. Because tourists come from different nationalities to watch and attend.

On the other

hand

Add a comma

,hand

show examples

it has some drawbacks. Due to huge

sports

organization

Fix the agreement mistake

organizations

show examples

such

as UEFA, the city could be

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

crowded advent of tourists. Some transportation and accommodation problems could occur. Unless government cope with these problems, disturbing situations probably emerge in terms of the community.

Finally

, it affects rivalry among

countries

. The downside of

this

is that

people

can be racist against each other. ,

Furthermore

Add a comma

,Furthermore

show examples

they are so big fanatic that it could damage to surroundings. In conclusion,

countries

should allocate a budget for

sports

activities.

Although

there are

advantages

and disadvantages,

advantages

are considerable for

countries

and

people

. Government should take action about disadvantages and arrange

competitions

in various

sports

branches.

Submitted by canangul05 on Tue Sep 27 2022

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Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

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Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
13Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

235 words

4.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Countries spends large amount of money on sports competitions. Do you think the advantages outweight the disadvantages.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some employers believe that job applicants’ social skills are more important than their academic qualifications. To what extent do you agree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Today family members eat fewer meals together. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?

Some people think that school children need to learn practical skills such as car maintenance or bank account management along with the academic subjects at school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

An increasing number of people choosing to have cosmetic surgery in order to improve their apperance. Why do people have operations to change the way they look? Do you think this is a positive or negative development?