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Band 1.5

In some countries, too much money is spent by both the government and individuals on national festivals, such as the new year. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#countries #money #government #individuals #festivals #year
It is commonly argued that too significant part of government and individual budgets is spent on national holidays like Halloween or Christmas. In my opinion, it is a relevant statement when referring to
effective
Correct article usage
the effective
show examples
 utilization of taxes by authorities and proper management of savings when it comes to individuals. It is commonly understood that solving social and economical issues should be one of the government's main responsibilities.
Although
 holiday budgets are usually quite high, we can often hear that certain important institutions like public schools or fire departments face a lack of financing.
Therefore
, proper budget management and prioritization of
spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
show examples
 should solve
this
 discrepancy.
For example
,
authorities
Correct article usage
the authorities
show examples
 of Warsaw decided to cancel the celebration of the New Year 2022 since there is a high risk of
deficit
Correct article usage
a deficit
show examples
 of fuels during
winter
Add an article
the winter
show examples
 period. As for individuals, people usually share the same opinion.
Submitted by alexey.yezhkov on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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