Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

It has been said that

music

has the power to break cultural and age borders to get

people

together. In my point of view, what

people

have been arguing about is true. I definitely think that

music

allows

people

to share something in common. In

this

essay, I will

first

discuss how

music

impacts our lives and

secondly

, through examples, I will discuss the role of

music

in bringing

people

together.

To begin

with,

music

is a part of any

culture

. Anywhere

people

can travel , they will be able to create a connection with the

culture

of the nation through the

music

’s approach. Extending my thought, in some specific areas,

music

is the most essential part of their

culture

For example

, Brazil, a country located in South America, is universally well-known for its Carnival which occurs yearly and pulls in thousands of tourists of any age. Continuing with

this

example, it is interesting to notice that

people

involved in

this

event, who represent all kinds of ages and have different origins, stand proudly for their

culture

and schools which are spread out all over the country.

Moreover

music

played a key role in some countries divided by social issues. Given some detail,

music

brought

people

who did not have a lot of things in common. Taking the example of the United States, it was positively

surprising

Replace the word

surprised

show examples

that songs and more generally albums from the rock’n’roll and rap industries brought Caucasians and Afro-American

people

together.

In addition

, it was through a record that Michael Jackson created a song featuring singers coming from different kinds of

music

industries, to raise funds to fight poverty in Africa. To sum up, I am deeply convinced that, throughout history,

music

has brought

people

having different backgrounds and ages together and was used to cope with social issues.

Submitted by ngumba.pro on Wed Sep 28 2022

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

303 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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