Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#people #music #cultures #ages

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It has been said that

music

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has the power to break cultural and age borders to get

people

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together. In my point of view, what

people

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have been arguing about is true. I definitely think that

music

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allows

people

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to share something in common. In

this

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essay, I will

first

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discuss how

music

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impacts our lives and

secondly

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, through examples, I will discuss the role of

music

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in bringing

people

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together.

To begin

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with,

music

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is a part of any

culture

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. Anywhere

people

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can travel , they will be able to create a connection with the

culture

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of the nation through the

music

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’s approach. Extending my thought, in some specific areas,

music

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is the most essential part of their

culture

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For example

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, Brazil, a country located in South America, is universally well-known for its Carnival which occurs yearly and pulls in thousands of tourists of any age. Continuing with

this

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example, it is interesting to notice that

people

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involved in

this

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event, who represent all kinds of ages and have different origins, stand proudly for their

culture

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and schools which are spread out all over the country.

Moreover

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music

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played a key role in some countries divided by social issues. Given some detail,

music

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brought

people

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who did not have a lot of things in common. Taking the example of the United States, it was positively

surprising

Replace the word

surprised

show examples

that songs and more generally albums from the rock’n’roll and rap industries brought Caucasians and Afro-American

people

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together.

In addition

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, it was through a record that Michael Jackson created a song featuring singers coming from different kinds of

music

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industries, to raise funds to fight poverty in Africa. To sum up, I am deeply convinced that, throughout history,

music

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has brought

people

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having different backgrounds and ages together and was used to cope with social issues.

Submitted by ngumba.pro on Wed Sep 28 2022

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7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

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Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

303 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

universal language
evoke
connect
diverse audiences
cultural exchange
generational gaps
shared experiences
unifying force

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Some people say that music is a good way of bringing people of different cultures and ages together. To what extend do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

Students should focus on learning in the classroom rather than show their status by wearing fashionable clothes. Therefore all students should wear school uniform. Do you agree or disagree

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It is important for all the cities and towns to have large outdoor public spaces, such as parks or squares. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

In the future, more people will chose to go on holidays in their own country and not travel abroad on holidays. Do you agree or disagree?