IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that the radio is the best way to get news, while others believe that TV is better for this purpose. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #radio #news #tv #purpose
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Many
individuals
Use synonyms
 argue that
radio
Use synonyms
 is
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 good way to get
news
Use synonyms
,while
their
Replace the word
there
show examples
 are some other
people
Use synonyms
 who believe that
that
Correct determiner usage
apply
show examples
tv
Use synonyms
 is better for
news
Use synonyms
.in my opinion
tv
Use synonyms
 is
much
Add an article
a much
the much
show examples
 better way for all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
things. On the one hand,
Use synonyms
radio
Add an article
the radio
show examples
 you can
use
Use synonyms
 any anywhere and get
news
Use synonyms
.
In other words
Linking Words
,
Use synonyms
radio
Correct article usage
the radio
show examples
 is easy to get anywhere it is convenient and in the old
people
Use synonyms
 do not have not much money for and a group of
people
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
radio
Use synonyms
 for getting
news
Use synonyms
 and connection is easy to find any place so it is
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 thing but in the old time when
people
Use synonyms
 do not have
much
Change the quantifier
many
show examples
 sources and exchanging thing.
For example
Linking Words
, in the past when war
happen
Change the verb form
happens
show examples
 between two countries
government
Fix the agreement mistake
governments
show examples
use
Use synonyms
radio
Use synonyms
 to
information
Replace the word
inform
show examples
 their
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
.
Hence
Linking Words
, in the past
radio
Use synonyms
 is better and
best
Correct article usage
the best
show examples
 by to get
news
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, nowadays
individuals
Use synonyms
using
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
 smartphones
tv
Use synonyms
 for
news
Use synonyms
 entertainment
channel
Fix the agreement mistake
channels
show examples
.
To
Change preposition
For
show examples
 instance, in the
21th
Change the ending
21st
show examples
century
Add a comma
,century
show examples
 a person mostly
use
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
tv
Add an article
the tv
show examples
 for
news
Use synonyms
 and movies ,
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 have mini
tv
Use synonyms
 (smartphones) which are in cheap prices and easy to carry, well by the
tv
Use synonyms
individuals
Use synonyms
 see pictures and not only
news
Use synonyms
 kids get cartoon show and many more thing for entertainment and
tv
Use synonyms
 have more sources of
news
Use synonyms
 channels.
Thus
Linking Words
,
individuals
Use synonyms
use
Use synonyms
 more
tv
Use synonyms
 to entertain
them self
Correct your spelling
themself
themselves
show examples
.
Lastly
Linking Words
, in my opinion, television is
best
Change the article
the best
show examples
 way to get
news
Use synonyms
 not only
their
Change preposition
in their
show examples
 county as well as worldwide
,
Add the word(s)
but,
show examples
also
Linking Words
people
Use synonyms
seeing
Wrong verb form
see
show examples
 the picture and understanding the right thing and
Jugge
Correct your spelling
Judge
by
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their own.
For example
Linking Words
,
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 days before
Ukrainian
Correct article usage
the Ukrainian
show examples
 and Russian war is the biggest live example. In the conclusion, in the past
radio
Use synonyms
 have there on
Correct your spelling
benefits
benifits
Correct your spelling
benefits
 but now day technology are developed so television is the best
various
Replace the word
variety
show examples
 for every purpose.
Submitted by sangeetapoonia11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: