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Band 4.5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
Most people nowadays believe that the younger generation can do some volunteer
work
 in their leisure
time
 because
this
 will be fruitful for society. In my opinion, I agree with
this
 belief as described in the following paragraphs.
Firstly
, if teenagers
work
 for cleaning the path that can create awareness among people to keep
a way
Correct your spelling
away
show examples
 neat and scour.
Moreover
, it keeps the environment unpolluted which is healthy for our living as well as for nature. In
this
manner
Add a comma
,manner
show examples
 they can lead to
utilise
Change the verb form
utilising
show examples
 their free
time
 properly with a good deed. There
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
also
 some
work
for example
 cleaning beaches, gardening, looking after pets, etc. They can
also
 join formal volunteer programs; under the supervision of an organisation.
Secondly
, they can connect to some association which can provide
then
Correct your spelling
them
show examples
 ideas
how
Change preposition
on how
show examples
 to deal with spare
time
.
Furthermore
, they can use
this
 thing as an extra curriculum activity which will not affect their education and make them hard
worker
Fix the agreement mistake
workers
show examples
.
Although
, they are interested
Change preposition
in
show examples
its community’s intention
to
Add a missing verb
is to
show examples
 provide an opportunity to learn
time
 management as well as various experiences . In
this
 regard, it will improve their portfolio and make it easier to apply to famous colleges and universities.
In addition
, society and parents will appreciate their efforts. It has a valuable positive impact on people and helps to make different new friends. I personally agree the advantage of being young is that they can serve the public and do charity
work
. As volunteering can boast confidence, self-esteem and life satisfaction.
Submitted by poorvi9821 on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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