IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

Governments investment in arts, music and theatre is a waste of money. Government should invest these funds in public services instead. To what extent do you agree with this statement.

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It is believed by some that governments should spend more money on public services rather than amusements
such
 as arts, music and theatre. I disagree with
this
 statement and the reason will be explained in
this
 essay. On one side of
this
 argument, there are people who claim that amusements play a significant role in our life, by creating happiness and pleasuring a moment.
Also
, having a better quality of life. According to
this
, the studies of Hong Kong university show that many people who are going to attend the museum, having a glance at the exposition, are more delighted than people who do not, and they are more comfortable at work.
Thus
, the expenditure on amusements is essential for enjoyment and work.
On the other hand
, it is the duty of the cabinet to expend the funds for the public
such
 as constructing more buildings, roads and transport, growing the cities and going any place without difficulty. To illustrate
this
, the reporting of Sri lang ka, the students are more convenient to transport to school.
This
 is affecting their studies due to the lessening of time travelling, they have more time concentrating on the books.
Hence
, expanding on the public is
also
 appropriate and reasonable for having a good life. To sum up, public service and arts, music and theatre have power over the community in many different ways.
Therefore
,I believe that the government's spending money should be equally on public services and arts, in terms of improving and developing lifestyle in their country.
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Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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