IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 3

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Life today is easier and more comfortable than it was when your grandparents were children. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

#life #grandparents #children #support
Current society has high technology to provide convenience for living more than in
grandparents’
Correct article usage
the grandparents’
show examples
 era. So people think life is easier and safer. I agree with
this
 view. As life should develop.
Firstly
, technology
had
Wrong verb form
has
show examples
 been developing since our grandparents were young,
however
, it
had
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
succeeded when we
grow
Wrong verb form
grew
show examples
.
Hence
, their everyday facilities were not able to respond to certain requirements of the individuals who needed the convenience.
In addition
 to
this
, the safety of the system was not stable enough to make private data safe of which risk to be hacked is considered high.
For example
, there is the presence of many fraudulent call centre gangs in Thailand calling to deceive the money out from the accounts of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
innocents.
Secondly
, today there are advanced facilities to take the growth of today’s commoners to heights.
Moreover
, it puts the living life of the human in a better position.
Thus
, certain problems can be solved by more advanced equipment.
Furthermore
, higher technologies will be seen in the world in the future to cater to the ambition of the new generation when they become adults.
For instance
, humanity will have transportation by teleporting capsules or flying cars.
To conclude
, activity can be easier when people grow as scientists are researching and developing equipment to be the solution to any issues. So, commoners will have more convenience
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
safety privacy.
Submitted by amittawin on

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Task Achievement
Enhance the logical structure of your essay to improve coherence and cohesion. Ensure that your introduction and conclusion are more substantial. Use relevant and specific examples to support your points.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Work on making the progression of ideas more seamless. Ensure that all parts of the essay are connected logically and coherently.
Lexical Resource
Expand your range of vocabulary to demonstrate a higher level of lexical resource. Use more precise and varied vocabulary to express your ideas effectively.
Grammatical Range
Focus on developing more complex sentence structures and using a wider variety of grammatical forms. Work on using accurate grammar and sentence structures to convey your ideas clearly.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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