The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

#role #education #children #world #schools #art #music #curriculum #focus #subjects #information #technology

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Undoubtedly,

school

training plays an important role in children's future. Interestingly

that

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

some individuals hold the view that

such

subjects as musical education and

art

are useless in the contemporary world and it is better to concentrate on learning IT

instead

. I disagree with

this

point of view because some students have a predisposition to some kind of

art

Thus

, it is crucial for them to discover their talents at an early age at

school

. The notions will be examined in the essay.

To begin

with, it comes as no surprise that technology has become extremely relevant these days.

For example

, numerous studies have shown that at least 35% of monotonous and tedious jobs will have been automated by 2050 thanks to artificial intelligence.

Moreover

, it has become obvious that IT is one of the industries of the future and quite a few jobs will be linked to AI and robotics.

That is

why it is highly important for young people to pay considerable attention to studying technology at

school

However

, not everybody is destined to be a programmer or a developer. Needless to say, that

art

and music are essential parts of some individuals’ lives.

For instance

according to

research over 5 million workers are employed in cultural industries.

Besides

, some children have gifts from birth to be creative. So, it would be unfair to deprive them of getting a chance to unleash that talent at an early age if the subjects related to

art

were cut off.

Therefore

art

science should not be removed from the

school

curriculum completely. In conclusion, even though studying information technology is gaining momentum

due to

its growing relevance, it is a matter of high importance to give music and

art

classes as well because

art

is eternal and will exist forever.

Submitted by ledlera93 on Thu Sep 29 2022

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coherence cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph is focused on one main idea and use transition words to connect sentences and ideas for better coherence.

task response

Make sure to fully address the task prompt by considering all aspects of the topic and providing balanced arguments.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

299 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

holistic development
cognitive abilities
cultural education
globally connected world
problem-solving skills
critical thinking
well-rounded education
self-expression
mental health impacts
digital art
music production
technology-driven careers
academic performance
intellectual growth
emotional development
creative subjects
enrich creativity
foster a sense of achievement
stress relief

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The role of education is to prepare children for the modern world. Schools should cut art and music out of the curriculum so that children can focus on useful subjects such as information technology. To what extent do you agree?

It is important for people to take risks, both in their Professional lives and their personal lives. Do you think the advantages of taking risks outweigh the disadvantages?

Tourism is one of thw fastest growing industries and contributes a great deal to economies around the world. However, the damage tourism can cause to local cultures and the environment is often ignored. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Many manufactured food and drink products contain high level of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that men and women are equal and so women should be able to do any job they want. Others feel that men and women are not equal and therefore there are certain jobs which are not suitable for women. What is your opinion?

Some people think that you can only learn about the cultures of different places by traveling there. Other people think that you can learn just as much about these places from reading books and watching travel documentaries about them. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.