Some people think that it would be better for larger companies and industy to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#people #companies #industy #move #areas #centers

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One school of thought holds that large industrial organizations should relocate to suburban areas that are far away from city centres.

This

essay attempts to shed light on both the merits and demerits of

this

belief before concluding that the former is more important. On the one hand, removing factories and firms to regional territories is disadvantageous to some certain extent. First and foremost, it might decrease the inhabitants' convenience.

For example

, increasing time in commute means less leisure time for themselves and their family, which could cause some serious mental issues,

such

as anxiety, depression, and exhaustion.

Furthermore

, the enormous cost incurred to implement these actions would put a strain on government coffers, thereby leading to budget deficits, tax hikes, or reduced social welfare.

As a result

, ordinary citizens, especially the underprivileged, would struggle even more to make ends meet.

On the other hand

, there are a host of compelling reasons as to why I am convinced that authorities should pass some laws to force corporations to place their plants in

countryside

Correct article usage

the countryside

show examples

. One rationale is that could improve individuals' health.

This

is because, without smog and fumes being released from manufacturing and transportation,

thus

, the quality of the air would be enhanced, which could protect people against negative effects from respiratory issues. Another justification is that could raise citizens' pleasure . To be more specific, if business facilities were moved, the number of green parks, open spaces, and playgrounds would be established, so that residents could enjoy their free time

as well as

children could play and make friends with others. In conclusion,

while

it is irrefutable that building big business infrastructure in the suburban zones could have some drawbacks. I would contend that

this

radical idea has more significant upsides to the entire society.

Submitted by khoihoangtrong96 on Tue Mar 19 2024

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task achievement

Make sure your introduction clearly outlines the main points that you will cover. Your introduction did well in setting up the topic, but could have been more specific in previewing your arguments.

task achievement

Provide more specific examples to support your arguments. While you did include examples, more detailed and varied examples could make your essay more convincing and improve task achievement.

coherence cohesion

Work on linking your ideas more clearly. Use a range of linking words and phrases to show the connections between your ideas and paragraphs, thereby improving coherence and cohesion.

coherence cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has one clear main idea supported by examples and explanations. This will help in logically structuring your essay and making your main points clear, enhancing coherence and cohesion.

task achievement

In your conclusion, succinctly restate your main points and your stance. Ensure it's reflective of the discussion throughout your essay without introducing new ideas, maintaining task achievement and coherence.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

296 words

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Some people think that it would be better for larger companies and industy to move to regional areas outside large urban centers. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some people believe that when deciding how taxpayers' money is spent, governments should prioritise health care, while others believe that there are other priorities to spend this money.Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

Many museums charge for admission while others are free. Do you think that the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages ? Give reasons for your answer and include relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.

Advertising has become an unavoidable part of everyone’s life. Some say that advertising is a positive part of our lives while others say it is a negative one. Discuss both views and include your own opinion.

Some people think that the main purpose of school and university education should be to prepare people for work. Others, however, think that the true role of education is to make us better citizens. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

Some people say that the prevention of health problems is more important than the treatment of illness and disease and that Government funding should reflect this?What is your opinion?