Some people are of the opinion that children should be rewarded for good behaviour. Others think they should be punished for bad behaviour. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

According to
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some people, youngsters with good manners should be rewarded,
while
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others think that they must be punished for bad behaviour. In my opinion, both approaches need to be done in a balanced way. When kids do something good, if they receive praise from the elderly, they feel more motivated.
For example
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, if children are asked to make
up
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apply
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their room, they will be given a chocolate as a reward.
This
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action builds connection, trust, and self-improvement at a time. It
also
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creates a positive environment for them. They will be more inspired when they have
this
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in their mind that they will be winning rewards immediately. But overusing
this
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method might create problems,
such
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as losing its value , and
also
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sometimes might cause jealousy among siblings.
On the other hand
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, punishing minors for their bad deeds is necessary to teach them to understand the difference between right and wrong.
Also
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, it is important to guide them to be aware of social and life rules and boundaries. It will help them to understand that their bad actions have consequences.
However
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, over-punishment can hurt one's self-esteem, and sometimes can create extreme fear. So it is essential to keep in mind that the punishment should be proportional to their actions and age.
To conclude
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, I think a balanced approach would work best. Praise good
behavior
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behaviour
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and set clear rules for bad actions, and all of
this
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should be done in a clear, fair, and consistent environment to help the younger grow and learn better.

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coherence
Improve flow by using more linking words and smoothing transitions between ideas.
content
Add more real or varied examples to back each point.
language
Be careful with word choice and form; check phrases like 'make up their room' and 'the younger grow' for natural use.
task
State your view clearly in the intro and wrap up with a strong conclusion.
task response
Clear view on balance and a plan to use praise and rule setting.
structure
Paragraphs are well spaced and have clear order.
coherence
Use of linking phrases such as 'On the other hand' and 'To conclude'.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example
Topic Vocabulary:
  • reward
  • punishment
  • good
  • bad
  • behaviour
  • child
  • children
  • discipline
  • rules
  • fair
  • clear
  • consistent
  • praise
  • encourage
  • time-out
  • calm
  • talk
  • listen
  • example
  • improve
  • grow
  • safe
  • trust
  • respect
  • choice
  • result
  • balance
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