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Writing Samples /
Band 2.5

Although more and more people read news on the Internet, newspapers will remain the most important source of news. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #news #internet #newspapers #source
Internet
Correct article usage
The Internet
show examples
 is evolving every single
days
Change to a singular noun
day
show examples
. That makes
news
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
spread over the world. But it doesn’t mean
newspaper
Correct article usage
the newspaper
show examples
 is no longer important due to the accuracy of the information. All of that
make
Change the verb form
makes
show examples
 me completely agree that newspapers and
news
 on the
Internet
 will both remain
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
 source of
news
.
Firstly
, we have to talk about convenience.
News
 on the
Internet
 must be more convenient if
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were compared to the
newspaper
. Explaining
this
, we have already known that
newspaper
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 often oversized
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when
Correct word choice
while
show examples
news
 on the
Internet
 only need a cell phone, which is smaller really much.
Secondly
, the price. To read newspapers, you have to buy from the publisher
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 cost
from
Change preposition
of
show examples
 5.000 VND to 12.000 VND. It seems to be small but if you read a 5.000 VND
newspaper
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, you will totally lose 150.000 per month, which is pretty expensive for updating the
news
. In case of reading
news
 on
Internet
Correct article usage
the Internet
show examples
, you won’t have to pay anything.
Last
 but not least,
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 have to be more accurate than the
news
 on the
Internet
. Because the publisher will check if their newspapers are completely correct. While everyone can make their
news
 and publish it on the
Internet
.
With
Change preposition
For
show examples
these reason
Change the determiner
this reason
these reasons
show examples
, I completely agree that
newspaper
Fix the agreement mistake
newspapers
show examples
 and
news
 on the
Internet
 will both remain
important
Add an article
an important
show examples
source
Fix the agreement mistake
sources
show examples
 of
news
.
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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • reliable
  • credible
  • focused
  • immersive
  • tangibility
  • tradition
  • access
  • digital devices
  • demographics
  • older generation
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