Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

#people #children #time #school #activities #art #music #classes #sports

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

These days most parents are of the view that it is precious for children to participate in extra curriculum activities for their future outcomes. Whereas, others opinion that, children should have rest and joy at that

time

Use synonyms

. In my point of view, I agree with the

first

Linking Words

sentence.

Firstly

Linking Words

, after-school education provides huge benefits to their present and future development.

For instance

Linking Words

, joining with singing, dancing and painting brings brain refreshments because those are good meditations for reducing mental stress. Not only that but they

also

Linking Words

study these are causes for their ultimate career

such

Linking Words

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

musician, painter or sportsman and earn money or get famous through

this

Linking Words

In addition

Linking Words

, increase intellect, thought process, creativity and relaxation techniques.

Finally

Linking Words

, in

this

Linking Words

modern world, most kids stay home alone until their parents come back.

Therefore

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

may lead to unsafe in their future.

Then

Linking Words

it is better to do extra education.

On the other hand

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

comparative world, some people think their children must have joy and relax after school . It is good for managing

time

Use synonyms

such

Linking Words

as,doing homework, and being ready for the

Linking Words

day and day-to-day activities at the right

time

Use synonyms

Moreover

Linking Words

, need

time

Use synonyms

for relaxation just as staying with family members, playing with siblings as well a picnic. Stay with a loved one and do activities that are most suitable for better physical and mental health. In conclusion, it is important to learn extra education rather than stay with family after studying the school.

Although

Linking Words

, parents must be aware of the favouriting of kids that they would like or dislike. Mainly, imminent development is based on

this

Linking Words

process.

Submitted by menakalelwala on Sat Oct 01 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

Paragraph 1 - Introduction
Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

14
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

272 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

<4
band
In some countries,fast food restaurant and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
In some countries, fast food restaurants and supermarkets offer Money to the school for the promotion of their product.In my opinion it is a negative development. This essay discuss negative development in detail along with relevant conclusion.
6.5
band
Young people learn more about good behaviour from books or films/ movies than they learn from real-life experiences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
These days, the trend of learning is so different from the past, and young generations prefer to learn things from social media and other ways, so they learn good manners from books and films instead of parents or real-life experiences. I broadly agree with this theory because children spend a lot of time with movies and books; thereafter, most of the time movies and books are based on real happen.
<4
band
In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or digsagree ?,
Nowadays, in several nations has been rising common of population are trouble from health issues effect of over-consumption junk food. Since importantly higher tax of junk food by the government. In my opinion , I strongly agree with this statement, and the following will be provided to support from my view.
7.5
band
"Some people believe that online education provides significant benefits, while others think it leads to a loss of important social interactions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In recent years, online education has gained popularity as a flexible alternative to traditional classroom learning. While it offers the benefit of accessibility and convenience, some argue it results in a lack of social interaction, which is crucial for personal development. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of online education before providing a personal opinion.
7
band
Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree
In recent years, the environment has affected human life a lot. There are many opinions that governments should be in charge of protecting the environment, while each person does not try to find methods to preserve nature because they are not big enough to do these things. From my perspective, I disagree with this statement to some extent, which will be discussed in this essay.

Some people believe that children's time outside of school should be filled with scheduled activities such as art and music classes and sports. others feel that children need free time to play and relax. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

In some countries,fast food restaurant and supermarkets give money to schools to promote their products.Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

Young people learn more about good behaviour from books or films/ movies than they learn from real-life experiences. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

In some countries an increasing number of people are suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or digsagree ?,

"Some people believe that online education provides significant benefits, while others think it leads to a loss of important social interactions. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Environmental protection should be the responsibility of politicians, not individuals as individuals can do too little. To what extent do you agree or disagree