IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

peoples's lives are now surrounded by advertisements. These advertisements have negative impact on people's lives.To what extend you agree or disagree?

#peoples #lives #advertisements #impact #people
Individuals are influenced by the touting of various
products
 in their
day to day
Add a hyphen
day-to-day
show examples
life
. Most of these touting are inversely affecting their
life
 to a great extent. In my opinion, I agree with the prompt statement based on
following
Correct article usage
the following
show examples
 two reasons.
First
 of all,
Ads
 which are
showing
Wrong verb form
shown
show examples
 in various media are
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
effecting
Correct your spelling
affecting
show examples
 the
life
Replace the word
lives
show examples
 of millions, because folks are badly influenced by these
ads
 and increase their spending habits which in turn increase their debts.
For instance
, take the case of Big Billion day in Flipkart,
people
 are attracted by the
ads
 on TVs and other media which had led to increased spending on various
products
 which may not be required by them.
This
 increased spending may lead to more debt and eventually to
financial
Correct article usage
a financial
show examples
 crisis later.
Additionally
, most of the
ads
 are intended to attract
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
humans while there is less
emphasize
Replace the word
emphasis
show examples
 on the quality of the product which may cause
people
buying
Change the verb form
to buy
show examples
 low-quality
products
 without knowing about later consequences.
For example
, hospital
ads
 are being propagated widely through media without giving any importance
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the quality of the facilities available at these places which in turn leads to
people
 buying these services without any knowledge of quality. In reality,
people
 are getting mediocre service based on the extreme influence of
ads
 in their daily
life
. In conclusion, mankind is badly influenced by the
ads
 propagated by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
multinational companies to increase their sales and profits.
However
, there is less importance given to other aspects of the
products
 which are inversely affecting the lives of humankind.
Submitted by abijith22 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: