IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6

In many countries, paying for things using mobile phone(celephones) apps is becoming increasingly common. Does this development have more advantages or more disadvantages

#countries #phone #celephones #apps #development
No
one
 can deny that buying
apps
 for cellophane in a lot of nations is more popular, these days. It has both negative and positive aspects. While some
people
 believe that it has some disadvantages points, in my view, the advantages points are more significant. On the
one
 hand,
one
 group of
people
 think that paying
money
 for mobile
applications
 has some minus effects. The most important
one
 is that
money
 could be wasted.
For example
, many young
generation
Change to a plural noun
generations
show examples
buying
Wrong verb form
buy
show examples
 a lot of
apps
 as a habit and just paying
money
 for something is not necessary for them. So, paying for
apps
 regularly leads to a high bill.
In addition
, some
applications
 are not useful for purchasing.
For instance
,
last
 month my brother bought an app about nutrition facts of the food but it did not have suitable information.
Thus
, most of the
applications
 are not helpful.
On the other hand
, purchasing
apps
 has the main role in human life.
First
,
people
 could find handy data easily.
For example
,
people
 search their convenient ways
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the map
apps
.
Therefore
, different kinds of
applications
 bring
people
 more accessible information.
Moreover
, nations need new technology.
Such
 as new
apps
 which have the latest instructions.
As a result
, all communities when using the new
apps
 are more up-to-date.
Finally
, I believe that paying
money
 for things using
mobile
Add an article
a mobile
show examples
 phone has benefits points are greater than the drawbacks.
Submitted by dr.khoshnevisan25 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: