IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

1. Some say that todays life is better than it will be in the future; others disagree and say that in the future life will be better than now. Discuss, and include your own opinion

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Undoubtedly,
life
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 is complicated.
People
Use synonyms
 nowadays are questioning their
lives
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, some
people
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 believe that today’s
life
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 is better than the
future
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 but some say
life
Use synonyms
 in the
future
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 will be better than now. In the following paragraph, the statement will be discussed in detail.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
people
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 who have everything in their
lives
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 will say
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 are satisfied with
our
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
lives
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 nowadays because
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 have the
abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
show examples
 to do everything
we
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 want
for example
Linking Words
 the rich can buy some expensive cars or houses,
live
Correct word choice
and live
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 like
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
king
Fix the agreement mistake
kings
show examples
,
this
Linking Words
 is his goal so he can say today
life
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 is better than in the
future
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.
However
Linking Words
, the sentence “
future
Use synonyms
life
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 will be better than now” is mostly used for
people
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 who are working hard but never receive good results. The sentence is a powerful statement because it can motivate many
people
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 to not give up on what they are doing
Linking Words
such
Correct quantifier usage
apply
show examples
as
Change preposition
apply
show examples
when you
had
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 studied very hard but
you
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
didn’t get a good grade, you will think the more I do, the worse I get, but it is not true, you have to try harder and in the
future
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 and you will get better results. In conclusion, in my ,opinion the sentence “in the
future
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life
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 will be better than now” is wonderful. It is a powerful inspiration for every age group. Even though some
people
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’s
life
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 is good nowadays, and they are satisfied with these
lives
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 it depends on them but I think if you do something to challenge yourself you can make your
life
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 better in the
future
Use synonyms
.

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coherence and cohesion
The introduction could be more engaging and articulate the main argument clearer. Consider rephrasing to create a stronger thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
In the conclusion, summarize the main points more effectively and restate your opinion more clearly to reinforce your stance.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples or evidence to support your arguments. This would strengthen your points and provide clearer insights.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your sentences are varied in structure and that transitions between ideas are smooth. This will enhance the overall flow of your essay.
task achievement
You demonstrate a good understanding of the topic and present arguments from both sides, which adds depth to your discussion.
task achievement
Your essay has a clear argument and extends your personal opinion, making it relatable to readers.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • technological advancements
  • automation
  • artificial intelligence (AI)
  • medical breakthroughs
  • quality of life
  • environmental challenges
  • climate change
  • resource depletion
  • global connectivity
  • cultural understanding
  • global problems
  • international cooperation
  • political instability
  • optimism
  • inequality
What to do next:
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