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Band 5

some people spend most of their lives living close to where they were born. What might be the reasons for this? What are the advantages and disadvantages

#people #lives
Few
people
 live their whole life in their birthplace.There could be many reasons for
this
, and it has both advantages and disadvantages but I personally believe it
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more cons
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 pros. Let
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
us
show examples
 discuss
further
Correct pronoun usage
this further
show examples
 in
upcoming
Correct article usage
the upcoming
show examples
 paragraphs.
Currently
Add a comma
,Currently
show examples
 everything is accessible
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 just
Correct article usage
the fingertips
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fingertips
Fix the agreement mistake
fingertip
show examples
 many
people
then
also
 believe staying in
native
Correct pronoun usage
their native
show examples
 place is more convenient as friends and family are close for any time support.The place where one spends whole childhood
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 familiar and easy to stay
then
 to migrate
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
new
Add an article
a new
show examples
 city and start from zero
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
could be really stressful. In a survey in New York
City
Add a comma
,City
show examples
 it has been found that around 50
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of
people
 will not
change
 their city for
good
Correct article usage
a good
show examples
 salary
instead
Correct word choice
but instead
show examples
 manage with
current
Correct pronoun usage
their current
show examples
 income.
Furthermore
Add a comma
,Furthermore
show examples
 the
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage
show examples
 of living in
born
Correct article usage
a born
show examples
 place
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 that the dearer
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 always present for any support. There is no need to
change
ethics
Correct article usage
the ethics
show examples
 or ritual
that is
 being followed since birth. Now,
while
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the sense of security and comfort in itself is
benefit
Add an article
the benefit
a benefit
show examples
 of living close to someone's birthplace in a broad and abstract sense. While the disadvantages include these
people
 may lose
may
Correct your spelling
many
show examples
 opportunities because of
this
 mindset as they will have to accept job
offer
Fix the agreement mistake
offers
show examples
 which
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 available locally with less pay.
Moreover
 they might not be
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 date with
current
Add an article
the current
show examples
 situation. In
conclusion
Add a comma
,conclusion
show examples
 one should be always open to
change
 and new opportunities as it is believed that we always have one
change
Correct your spelling
chance
show examples
 to
proof
Replace the word
prove
show examples
 ourselves so it
it
Remove the redundancy
apply
show examples
better
yo
Correct your spelling
to
show examples
 get out of
comfort
Correct pronoun usage
our comfort
show examples
 zones take
Add an article
a risk
the risk
show examples
risk
Fix the agreement mistake
risks
show examples
 and live life as per our terms.
Submitted by Juhipalit1996 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Familiarity
  • Comfort
  • Social ties
  • Family ties
  • Belonging
  • Resources
  • Opportunities
  • Fear
  • Unknown
  • Financial constraints
  • Cultural attachment
  • Language barriers
  • Limited education
  • Skills
What to do next:
Look at other essays: