IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#school
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Owing to the burgeoning competition Era
parents
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 want
their
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they're
they are
show examples
 to
children
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 focus on academic studies. It is believed by some people that
students
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 should be studied in
school
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 till 18 years old. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and in the subsequent fragments. I will discuss why. Irrefutably, there are a plethora of grounds why I agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement but the vital two are enhancing a creative mindset and learning
time
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 management. To commence with the former view, presently many schools give project work which is helping
students
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 to think creatively and productively.
This
Linking Words
 is because, many
parents
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 like to stay their
children
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 in
school
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 because they can learn new things like painting, puzzle games, communication skills and so on;
consequently
Linking Words
, adults are becoming smart and they learn quickly.
For example
Linking Words
, if schools had not
have
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had
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 smart classed rooms,
then
Linking Words
students
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 would not have worked smartly and
better
Add a missing verb
had better
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 skills.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, schools not only teach core subjects but
also
Linking Words
 give opportunities for extracurricular activities.
Therefore
Linking Words
,
students
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 can become smart and skilled people.
Moreover
Linking Words
, many organizations give priority to rules and regulations which helps pupils become
a
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apply
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self-discipline
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self-disciplined
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 as well as better
time
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 management.
Firstly
Linking Words
, both
parents
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 work 9 to 5 jobs and they have no
time
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 for their
children
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.
This
Linking Words
 is the reason,
parents
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 want to stay long hours in
school
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 and they can attend day boarding classes so that
children
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 can learn
time
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 management and discipline.
For instance
Linking Words
, according to the Hindu newspaper, presently youngsters are becoming strict with rules and serious about their dreams. Thereby, many
children
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 grab study quickly and earn early stages.
Secondly
Linking Words
, adults who learn discipline in
school
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 life. They are more focused and dedicated to their studies rather than
procrastination
Replace the word
procrastinate
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. To recapitulate, many people think that
children
Use synonyms
 should study in
school
Use synonyms
 at 18 age but if
children
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 spent a long
time
Use synonyms
 in
school
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,
then
Linking Words
 they will be focused on their career and it will give fruitful results.
Submitted by surjeet_17 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Peer pressure
  • Desensitize
  • Aggressive behavior
  • Neglect
  • Abuse
  • Supervision
  • Anti-bullying measures
  • Societal norms
  • Stereotypes
  • Dominance
  • Cyberbullying
  • Anonymity
  • Digital devices
  • Enforcement
  • Cultural tolerance
What to do next:
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