Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

#school

Owing to the burgeoning competition Era

parents

want

their

Replace the word

they're

they are

show examples

children

focus on academic studies. It is believed by some people that

students

should be studied in

school

till 18 years old. I completely agree with

this

statement and in the subsequent fragments. I will discuss why. Irrefutably, there are a plethora of grounds why I agree with

this

statement but the vital two are enhancing a creative mindset and learning

time

management. To commence with the former view, presently many schools give project work which is helping

students

to think creatively and productively.

This

is because, many

parents

like to stay their

children

school

because they can learn new things like painting, puzzle games, communication skills and so on;

consequently

, adults are becoming smart and they learn quickly.

For example

, if schools had not

have

Change the verb form

had

show examples

smart classed rooms,

then

students

would not have worked smartly and

better

Add a missing verb

had better

show examples

skills.

Furthermore

, schools not only teach core subjects but

also

give opportunities for extracurricular activities.

Therefore

students

can become smart and skilled people.

Moreover

, many organizations give priority to rules and regulations which helps pupils become

Remove the article

apply

show examples

self-discipline

Replace the word

self-disciplined

show examples

as well as better

time

management.

Firstly

, both

parents

work 9 to 5 jobs and they have no

time

for their

children

This

is the reason,

parents

want to stay long hours in

school

and they can attend day boarding classes so that

children

can learn

time

management and discipline.

For instance

, according to the Hindu newspaper, presently youngsters are becoming strict with rules and serious about their dreams. Thereby, many

children

grab study quickly and earn early stages.

Secondly

, adults who learn discipline in

school

life. They are more focused and dedicated to their studies rather than

procrastination

Replace the word

procrastinate

show examples

. To recapitulate, many people think that

children

should study in

school

at 18 age but if

children

spent a long

time

school

then

they will be focused on their career and it will give fruitful results.

Submitted by surjeet_17 on Sun Oct 02 2022

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

Summary
Restatement of thesis
Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

In conclusion
To conclude
To summarize
Finally
In a nutshell
In general

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11Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

323 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 9.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Everyone should stay at school until 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Include an introduction and conclusion

In the future nobody will buy printed newspapers or books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The growing number of overweight people is putting a strain on the health care system. Some people think that the best way to deal with this problem is to introduce more physical education lessons in school curriculum To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that it is the responsibility of individuals to take care of their own health and diet. Others, however, believe that governments should make sure that their citizens have a healthy diet.