Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a view, that adolescents need to do
work
Use synonyms
without payment in their leisure time and
this
Linking Words
affects the community and young
people
Use synonyms
in a positive way. I would agree that, because a lot of teenage can develop social skills like compassion and empathy in dealing with other humans and
this
Linking Words
is helpful for their
further
Linking Words
way of life in private and professional situations.
To begin
Linking Words
with, it is important to acknowledge that a vital number of teenagers don't know what they make in their leisure time. They waste a lot of days with cruel computer games or committing acts of violence
instead
Linking Words
of practising some kinds of sports
such
Linking Words
as swimming or football. Considering the increasing number of crimes by juveniles it seems to be useful that it is better
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
when they participate in charitable
work
Use synonyms
as well
such
Linking Words
as caring for the elderly or working for environmental protection.
As a result
Linking Words
, they
learning
Change the form of the verb
learn
show examples
they learn more about tolerance and charity. That said, a concern of the community should be for younger
people
Use synonyms
to take away from the street and give them meaningful activities. The local community benefits from the younger
people
Use synonyms
in two ways. On the one ,hand they need staff for healthcare at
this
Linking Words
time and compensate for different staff gaps,
,
Change the punctuation
apply
show examples
additionally
Linking Words
acts of violence caused by teenagers lead to damage to local facilities and society needs to pay for
this
Linking Words
harm with higher taxes,
for example
Linking Words
. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
individual teenagers don't get money for their
work
Use synonyms
, society and adolescents benefit from charitable
work
Use synonyms
. The civilization has more staff for retirement homes and younger
people
Use synonyms
have a meaningful
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
.
Submitted by Diederich.1974 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: