Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society

There is a view, that adolescents need to do

work

without payment in their leisure time and

this

affects the community and young

people

in a positive way. I would agree that, because a lot of teenage can develop social skills like compassion and empathy in dealing with other humans and

this

is helpful for their

further

way of life in private and professional situations.

To begin

with, it is important to acknowledge that a vital number of teenagers don't know what they make in their leisure time. They waste a lot of days with cruel computer games or committing acts of violence

instead

of practising some kinds of sports

such

as swimming or football. Considering the increasing number of crimes by juveniles it seems to be useful that it is better

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

when they participate in charitable

work

as well

such

as caring for the elderly or working for environmental protection.

As a result

, they

learning

Change the form of the verb

learn

show examples

they learn more about tolerance and charity. That said, a concern of the community should be for younger

people

to take away from the street and give them meaningful activities. The local community benefits from the younger

people

in two ways. On the one ,hand they need staff for healthcare at

this

time and compensate for different staff gaps,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

additionally

acts of violence caused by teenagers lead to damage to local facilities and society needs to pay for

this

harm with higher taxes,

for example

. In conclusion,

although

individual teenagers don't get money for their

work

, society and adolescents benefit from charitable

work

. The civilization has more staff for retirement homes and younger

people

have a meaningful

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

Submitted by Diederich.1974 on Sun Oct 02 2022

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!

Do you want to check your IELTS essays?

Submit unlimited essays, letters and charts. Sign up right now and start improving your writing skills.

9Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

274 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5
band
Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?
These days, most people have difficulties to manage for getting enough sleep, which can have impact on well being because of their working hours or social problems. This essay will examine some of these problems in detail, and then propose some solutions.
6.5
band
Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
A group of individuals present the view that advertisers are highly accomplished in encouraging us to purchase what they tell us to, whereas others argue that we are not influenced by advertisements anymore. I strongly agree with the former opinion.
7
band
In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?
In today’s dynamic job market, the necessity for individuals to relocate to secure employment is becoming increasingly more common, leading to a separation from their traditional support systems of family and friends. I am convinced that this phenomenon, despite being somewhat disadvantageous, brings about far more significant benefits.
4.5
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.
While it is widely claimed that many professionals such as physicians and engineers must worked in the country where they trained from, others argue that the autonomy of working overseas should not be neglected. Both points of view and reason why I believe that will be elaborated on in this essay.
7
band
Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion. Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Over the past few decades, individuals trained with professional skills such as medicine and engineering have been offered broad opportunities to work outside their countries, due to the continually surging need for professional workers. Many believe that those people need to be encouraged to take the offer, while others oppose this view. As for my personal perspective, I believe that every individual should not work overseas.

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Nowadays many people complain that they have difficulties getting enough sleep. What problems can lack of sleep cause? What can be done about lack of sleep?

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

In many countries today, if people want to find work, they have to move away from their families and friends. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Some people believe that professionals, such as doctors and engineers, should be required to work in the country where they did their training. Others believe they should be free to work in another country if they wish. Discuss these views and give your own opinion.