Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society

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There is a view, that adolescents need to do

work

Use synonyms

without payment in their leisure time and

this

Linking Words

affects the community and young

people

Use synonyms

in a positive way. I would agree that, because a lot of teenage can develop social skills like compassion and empathy in dealing with other humans and

this

Linking Words

is helpful for their

further

Linking Words

way of life in private and professional situations.

To begin

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with, it is important to acknowledge that a vital number of teenagers don't know what they make in their leisure time. They waste a lot of days with cruel computer games or committing acts of violence

instead

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of practising some kinds of sports

such

Linking Words

as swimming or football. Considering the increasing number of crimes by juveniles it seems to be useful that it is better

Remove the comma

apply

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when they participate in charitable

work

Use synonyms

as well

such

Linking Words

as caring for the elderly or working for environmental protection.

As a result

Linking Words

, they

learning

Change the form of the verb

learn

show examples

they learn more about tolerance and charity. That said, a concern of the community should be for younger

people

Use synonyms

to take away from the street and give them meaningful activities. The local community benefits from the younger

people

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in two ways. On the one ,hand they need staff for healthcare at

this

Linking Words

time and compensate for different staff gaps,

Change the punctuation

apply

show examples

additionally

Linking Words

acts of violence caused by teenagers lead to damage to local facilities and society needs to pay for

this

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harm with higher taxes,

for example

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. In conclusion,

although

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individual teenagers don't get money for their

work

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, society and adolescents benefit from charitable

work

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. The civilization has more staff for retirement homes and younger

people

Use synonyms

have a meaningful

task

Fix the agreement mistake

tasks

show examples

Submitted by Diederich.1974 on Sun Oct 02 2022

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Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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9
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 8.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

274 words

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Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would benefit both the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

What skills are taught in school in comparison to what is needed in actual life.

Nowadays, there is a trend of people being able to get copyrighted products of books and music easily from the Internet. Do the advantage outweigh disadvantage?

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks, and motorcycles are banned from the city center. Public transportation like buses, taxis, and metros are advised. To what extent do you think the advantages of this policy outweigh the disadvantages