A friend of yours is thinking of going on a camping holiday for the first time this summer. He/She has asked for your advice. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter Explain why you think your friend would enjoy a camping holiday Describe some possible disadvantages Say whether you would like to camping with your friend this summer

#friend #holiday #first #time #summer #advice

Dear Husan, First of all, let's discuss your question about going on

camping

Add an article

a camping

show examples

holiday -

this

is an excellent decision on your part.

Firstly

,you will enjoy the view of nature itself, the sun shines very brightly, there are huge camps in the forests,you will relax right in the open air, don't forget to take a tent with you in the evening, it will be cold and warm blankets, all

this

will help you

Although

I would advise you to take fishing rods, you will catch fish and fry it under the fire in the evenings and eat it

Secondly

this

vocation will give you many vivid impressions of the beauty of nature;

moreover

, in the evening you will fry marshmallows under the fire.

This

also

has its downsides: in the evening there are a lot of mosquitoes and flies, they are very annoying;

moreover

, there are various insects that crawl into your tent and it's scary. I would like to ask you if I could go with you

Change preposition

show examples

the camping holiday, I will help you figure out what you don't understand

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

Your

Correct your spelling

Yours

show examples

sincerely Arthur

Submitted by omondavlat91 on Wed Feb 14 2024

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Coherence and Cohesion

Ensure your letter has a clear and logical structure throughout. This helps the reader to follow your thoughts and advice more easily.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of sentence structures and more sophisticated linking words to improve the flow of ideas between sentences and paragraphs.

Coherence and Cohesion

Consider using paragraphs more effectively to separate ideas clearly, such as dedicated paragraphs for the advantages, disadvantages, and your availability to join the camping trip.

Task Achievement

Make sure to address all parts of the prompt fully. This includes providing detailed explanations and examples for each section of your letter: why your friend would enjoy camping, possible disadvantages, and clearly stating your wish to join.

Task Achievement

Try to add more personal touches and specific examples based on your own experiences or expectations of camping to make the advice more engaging.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

9 paragraphs

185 words

6.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

adventure
serenity
outdoors
refreshing
hustle and bustle
inherent
foster
distractions
cost-effective
unpredictable
wildlife
adequate preparation
physical demands
researching
campsite
lasting memories
mutual interests

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