Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Discuss advantage and disadvantages to children doing so?

#children #parents #part #time #job #advantage

Things are better understood when they are done practically rather than just reading about them. Some people believe that part-time jobs for kids are advantageous, whereas some think that it is not. In

this

essay, I will discuss both sides of an argument and put forward my opinion. Part-time jobs are a crux of modern society. Teens nowadays think that everything is free and life is easy to live, but they don't know how much effort is involved in earning a single penny. Fortnight's work will help young adults to understand the importance of money. It will not only make them independent but

also

give me the freedom to solve real-world problems. To exemplify, it is compulsory for adults over the age of 18 to get involved in work to learn time management.

Furthermore

, banks worldwide offer good interest rates for young account holders to encourage money-saving skills. Like every coin has 2 sides so does

this

argument. Some parents think that if their kids work in their early years of life they might discontinue their studies. Easy money flow can encourage them to take wrong decisions like attending rave parties, doing drugs and drinking alcohol. They can disrespect elders as they are not dependent on them financially.

For example

, as per recent academic research done by Stanford University, 60% of adults below the age of 18 buy their

first

alcohol bottle when they get their

first

salary.

Hence

, it is apparent why many citizens are in favour of the above stance.

Lastly

, from what has been discussed above the benefits of the given topic significantly outweigh the drawback. To conclude, money earned by juveniles from these free time jobs should be governed by their parents and should be handed over as per need.

Submitted by sanketswami8193 on Sun Oct 02 2022

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Paragraph 1 - Introduction

Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

294 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 9.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

6.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. Discuss advantage and disadvantages to children doing so?

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers today can quickly and accurately translate languages; therefore, it is a waste of time to learn a foreign language. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Employers should give their staff at least four weeks' holiday a year to make employees better at their work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some countries achieve international sports by building specialised facilities to train top athletes, instead of providing sports facilities that everyone can use. Do you think this is positive or negative development?

A growing number of people feel that animals should not be exploited by people and that they should have the same rights as humans, while others argue that humans must employ animals to satisfy their various needs, including uses for food and research. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Others think that advertising is so common that we no longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these points of view and give your own opinion.