Nowadays, internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

#internet #television #people #chance #development

Fame

is one of the most sought-after attributes in our society, and thanks to the

Internet

and

, just about everyone stands a fair chance of becoming famous. To my way of thinking,

while

this

phenomenon is not without its drawbacks, it is generally a favourable state of affairs. Admittedly, the fact that everyday

people

can become instantly famous on

such

platforms as the

Internet

and

is undesirable in some ways. For a start, it promotes a rather skewed idea of success. When

people

with no expertise or decent educational background become popular through the

Internet

, it creates the impression that one can become successful without a school degree and hard work.

As a result

, more and more teenagers, who are often easily influenced by celebrities, quit school and bet their entire future on becoming

internet

famous. Even if they make it into the world of

fame

, their success is often short-lived.

This

is because one’s success on the

Internet

and

hinges on their talent and creativity level, which tend to vary over time. I,

on the other hand

, see

this

change in a more positive light. The main reason is that the

Internet

and

allow common men to make a fortune with minimal effort. YouTube content creators

such

as PewDiePie and Ninja, who come from underprivileged families, now make millions with the means of the

Internet

using their limited skill set. Were it not for the

Internet

, these

people

would have a slim chance of succeeding in life.

This

phenomenon has

also

helped level the playing field. In the past,

people

mostly became famous through connections like family and friends.

However

, now everyone has equal chances to rise to

fame

owing to the

Internet

and

as long as they are talented and creative.

To conclude

while

one should not overlook the downsides to

fame

achieved on the

Internet

, I am inclined to say that it is generally a positive change since it facilitates more attainable and equitable means of making a better living and succeeding in life

Submitted by pretty on Sun Oct 02 2022

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task response

Your essay is generally well-written and provides a clear response to the task question. However, ensure that you cover both the positive and negative aspects of the given topic in more detail.

coherence and cohesion

You have a clear introduction and conclusion. Your main points are supported but ensure that your ideas are logically and effectively linked throughout the essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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8Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
0Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

344 words

7.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 9.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Nowadays, internet and television have given ordinary people a chance to become famous. Is this a positive or negative development?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

'People who do not use social media networks* will always fall behind in career development opportunities.' To what extent do you feel that this is an accurate and important prediction? * Social media networks = messaging and information exchange systems such as Facebook and Twitter.

Nowadays parents are sending their children to trips abroad for educational purpose. What are the advantages and disadvantages of it?

Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the problems of playing computer games and what can you suggest to minimize the bad effects?

What are the advantages and disadvantages of living a number of different places during your childhood years?

In some countries an increasing number of people suffering from health problems as a result of eating too much fast food. It is therefore necessary for governments to impose a higher tax on this kind of food. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?