IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that all teenagers should be required to do unpaid work in their free time to help the local community. They believe this would help the individual teenager and society as a whole. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #teenagers #work #time #community #teenager #society
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The essay will be examining whether or not
teenagers
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 should
volunteer
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 to participate in activities that help the local community. I agree that the
work
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 done by
teenagers
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 would help both the
teenagers
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 and
the
Correct article usage
apply
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society writ large by creating a sense of ownership and equity.
Teenagers
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 in their formative years would benefit by volunteering as they would learn about the society they live in and the
problems
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 that it faces. When
teenagers
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volunteer
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 to do
work
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 in their locality they are bound to face unique
problems
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 at some stage. These
problems
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 provide a fertile situation for teens to develop executive function,
team
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teamwork
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work
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 and
problem solving
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problem-solving
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skills
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 which increases
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entrepreneurial
entreprenurial
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entrepreneurial
 thinking amongst them.
Moreover
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, apart from
problem solving
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problem-solving
show examples
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skills
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,skills
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 the best antidote to mental health
problems
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 is a strong personal connection to the area they live in. The number of friends and the size of one's social circle is a good
predictor
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predictors
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for
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of
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overall
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the overall
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well being
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well-being
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 of any individual. Thereby, volunteering would be beneficial to youngsters by helping them develop
problem solving
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problem-solving
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skills
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 as well as improve their mental health.
The society
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Society
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 would benefit from
volunteer
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work
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 by teens in two ways. The
first
Linking Words
 way would be increased community participation on the part of parents, which in turn would increase
probability
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the probability
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 of local government bodies functioning properly.
Secondly
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,
volunteer
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work
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 by
teenagers
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 would improve overall societal cohesion as they would now be less likely to resort to crime or drugs as they have a support group available to them.
Volunteer
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work
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,
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apply
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 thereby would serve to improve interest in local government and help keep
Correct your spelling
communities
communites
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communities
 crime and
drug free
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drug-free
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. In Conclusion,
volunteer
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work
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 by
teenagers
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 would help them develop
necessary
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the necessary
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skills
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 to excel in the real world. As they
say
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,say
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 an empty mind is a devil's mind,
volunteer
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work
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 would serve to keep the
teenagers
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engaged
enegaged
Correct your spelling
engaged
 and make them less likely to trod down the path of unproductive activities, while inculcating proper civic sensibilities and
improve
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improving
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functioning
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the functioning
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 of local government bodies.
Submitted by rohit.pandeyecon on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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