“You want to start your own business. Write a letter to a friend. In your letter: tell him/her about your business explain why you think it is a good idea and ask him/her for some help or advice”
Dear Tyson,
Hope you are doing great! It's been a
while
since our last
meeting and I am really motivated to see your success in business. I am very excited to let you know that I am planning to launch a new start-up.
As you are aware, I am passionate about software applications. Considering that, I am working on launching a new online store that is
exclusively designed for toys and computer games
. I am planning to make a policy that provides maximum benefits to customers. All the available products will be certified to ensure children's safety. In addition
to that, games
will available
for rent and buy. For Add a missing verb
be available
games
, we will provide the online code with which they can download the games
and activate them to play. I feel that this
online portal will be successful considering the wide range of games
and
quality products and ease of Correct word choice
apply
its
use.
I would need your valuable advice in setting up the server and ideas on how to minimize the cost. I know you had certain issues with the server Correct pronoun usage
apply
set-up
during your initial days. Correct your spelling
setup
Additionally
, I request you to share the invoice for the assistance you will be providing and I hope you will accept it
Looking forward to your reply.
Best regards,
Vivek VSubmitted by vivekv4 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Overall, the letter effectively addresses the task by introducing the business idea, explaining its benefits, and requesting help/advice from the friend. However, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea for better clarity and coherence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The logical structure of the letter is well-maintained, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. The greeting and closing are appropriate and friendly. To further improve coherence and cohesion, consider organizing the information in each paragraph around a single central theme or idea.
Coherence and Cohesion
The greeting and closing are warm and personal, creating a friendly tone in the letter.