In some countries university students live at home with their family while they study, whereas in other countries students attend university in another city. Do you think the benefits of living away from home during university outweigh the disadvantages? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from own knowledge or experience.
In modern days, in many countries, sophomores lived with their
families
during their studies, while
some preferred to stay away from their family members in different towns. I believe if students
live away from their house, it will have more disadvantages than staying with their families
. This
essay will discuss why pupil must stay with their parents, so they can help them with household work and reduce their expenses.
The main reason is staying with families
is to save rental expenses because students
do not have to pay the rent, which helps the family and uses that money to invest in other projects. Another reason is that, in case of an emergency if something happens with the family members, they get assistance immediately, but if a student living away from their house and has health issues, no one will care for him. In addition
, family members mostly have their own houses and students
do not need to pay rent, but if they live outside, they must pay the rent. As a result
, expenses will increase and it will be an extra expense for the homeowner.
Moreover
, people who live with their families
, do not require furniture and household things. Furthermore
, some students
feel homesick and unable to adjust to the city's culture, as a consequence
, it is evident that some students
left their studies in the middle of the courses. Additionally
, some parents are old enough and require regular assistance, if their son moved out of the house they might need to hire a regular caretaker. For example
, in Sydney mostly all courses are available for students
and they do not need to move out to different cities for better education, which is why most students
stay with their parents in the same towns.
In conclusion, following the analysis, it is clear that
it cannot be ignored doing study in other cities, which brings more knowledge and cultural benefits, but staying with families
provides emotional and financial support to the students
and saves money.Submitted by rbtech65 on
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task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the task, discussing both the advantages of staying at home and the disadvantages of living away. However, you should include more relevant and specific examples to strengthen your arguments.
task achievement
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and sentence construction. For instance, 'sophomores lived' should be 'sophomores live,' and 'I believe if students live away from their house, it will have more disadvantages' should be 'I believe if students live away from home, they will face more disadvantages.'
coherence and cohesion
A logical structure is generally maintained, but there can be a clearer distinction between different supporting points. Consider dividing your reasons into distinctly separate paragraphs for improved clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction and conclusion are present and relevant, but ensure that your conclusion succinctly mirrors the main points discussed without introducing new information.
task achievement
Support your main points with more specific details and examples relevant to your arguments. For example, when discussing financial savings, consider including data or specific scenarios where possible.
task achievement
Your essay provides a clear response to the prompt, with coherent arguments for why staying with family during university can be beneficial.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction rightly sets the stage for the discussion and your conclusion effectively summarizes your stance.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.