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Band 6

Vaccinating children against preventable diseases is not only unnecessary but also dangerous. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#children #diseases
Nowadays, in our society vaccinating
children
 against diseases that can be prevented is becoming unpopular. The people who do not prefer
vaccination
 claim that vaccinating is just not necessary at the same time it is dangerous for the
children
.
This
 essay will argue why vaccinating
children
 against preventable diseases is extremely important despite some initial health risks. As
children
 tend to get some reaction or sickness due to
vaccination
, parents are reluctant to vaccinate them most of the time. Sickness due to
vaccination
 can get worse and
children
 might have to suffer much for that. So, it is justified to some extent from the parent’s perspective to be reluctant to vaccinate their
children
.
For instance
, due to the post-COVID
vaccination
, I got a high fever and extreme body pain for almost 3 days and after that, I became really weak. But the
children
 are very small and in most cases, they are just toddlers so it is way more difficult for them to tolerate the side effects of the vaccine.
This
 fear has established the concept in parents’ minds to think that vaccines are unnecessary and a possible reason for getting sick.
On the other hand
,
vaccination
 is necessary to prevent dangerous diseases in the future that can become a reason for extreme sickness. If
children
 are vaccinated previously
then
 they might not catch that disease or what if they get the disease but it will not attack them to an extreme extent
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
, my nephew got jaundice
last
 year but as he was vaccinated previously it could not attack him that much and he got well really fast whereas I did not get a jaundice shot in my childhood and 7 years ago I got jaundice and I had to be hospitalized for 10 days to get well again. So, it can be said that despite the
children
 can get sick due to
vaccination
 but it will help their immunity to be stronger in the future.
This
 essay argued that the people who believe
vaccination
 is unnecessary
have
Add the particle
to have
show examples
 some misconceptions about the importance of vaccinating their
children
. In my opinion, though
vaccination
 has some side effects, for the time being, it is essential to boost
children
’s immunity.
Submitted by diya.afrin00 on

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Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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