More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

#animals #verge #extinction #list

Nowadays

due to

the large increase in ,population a

lot

of wild

animals

are on the edge of extinction and other

animals

are on the endangered list because of deforestation and the food they eat of

animals

This

essay is going to describe the solutions to those problems mentioned above.

Due to

the drastic increase in the amount of population growth in the world, a

lot

of forests

Verb problem

have

show examples

been cut down and developed as houses or offices for humans.

This

has a

lot

of effects on

animals

because they will lose their shelter

moreover

they can not even find food for them to survive

due to

which they will suffer from severe diseases and sometimes

this

can lead to the death of

animals

For instance

, when

animals

are hungry they find their own food in the

forest

but

due to

the absence of , the

forest

they get to eat waste which was produced by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

humans

such

as plastics

due to

Change preposition

apply

show examples

which they die because plastic damages their digestive system .cutting down of

forest

has a

lot

of disadvantages than the benefits.

Firstly

we should reduce

cutting

Correct article usage

the cutting

show examples

down of

forest

Fix the agreement mistake

forests

show examples

for building offices or homes.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should not sell the

forest

to any private individuals

for destroying

Change preposition

to destroy

show examples

them

Correct pronoun usage

show examples

Secondly

human should stop using non-biodegradable products which take years to

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

decomposed

Wrong verb form

decompose

show examples

into

Change preposition

apply

show examples

soil and

also

affects the soil

instead

items

Correct your spelling

such

show examples

as plastic bags or bottles can be replaced with reusable bags

whereas

plastic bottles can be recycled.

For example

, recent research showed that almost all the land and soil got damaged by non-solvable waste.

Government

Correct article usage

The government

show examples

should take

initiative

Correct article usage

the initiative

show examples

to bring new ideas for inventing products which have no damage to the

animals

as well as

the environment. In conclusion, a Large number of wild

animals

are in the end and some other

animals

are on the endangered list. Government and humans both should take responsibility for not harming

animals

by cutting down the

forest

and not by producing harmful products which affect their eating habits.

Submitted by kallipoornima9999 on Tue Oct 04 2022

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task achievement

Ensure clarity in discussing the causes and solutions of the topic. The essay needs to provide a balanced discussion on both parts of the question to fully satisfy the task achievement criterion.

coherence and cohesion

Connect ideas more coherently with appropriate linking words and topic sentences at the beginning of paragraphs. Avoid jumping from one idea to another without clear transitions.

lexical resource

Enhance the range of vocabulary used. The essay could benefit from more sophisticated and varied language to express the ideas more effectively.

grammatical range and accuracy

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. The essay contains grammatical errors, and the use of complex sentence structures could be improved.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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12Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

335 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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More and more wild animals are on the verge of extinction and others are on the endangered list. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to solve this problem?

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Computers and modems have made it possible for office workers to do much of their work from home instead of working in offices every day. But still some people prefer to work in offices. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Some people think that strict punishments for driving offences are the key to reducing traffic accidents. Others, however, believe that other measures would be more effective in improving road safety. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

the best way to sovle world's environmental problem is to increase the cost of fuel for cars and other vehicles. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

Food travels thousands of miles from farmers to consumers. Some people think that it would be better for our environment and economy if people consumed locally produced foods. To what extent do the advantages of this would outweigh the disadvantages?

In many countries people have to pay for medical care, but some think that it should be a free service provided by the government. To what extent do you agree or disagree?